I spent some time reading through this whole post. You've always given me some great advice so I wanted to do the same.
I still have the feeling that your H has some major issues about the human body and sex. I think you've mentioned in the past that he had a very controlling mother and a very religious background.
It's almost as if he's been reprogrammed to think that sexual thoughts are bad, bodies are ugly, and sex is just for procreation.
Now here's the thing you've also touched on. He's obviously a good guy, a dependable father, and a loving though not lustful guy. So you've got what most woman would die for...but you're not getting the one thing that you place a very high value on...sexuality.
Something tells me that you at one time dated a lot of guys that didn't have the good qualities your H has...but they did know how to get things done in the bedroom. But as you got older and wiser you choose a guy who would make a great husband but not necessarily a great lover.
But you may have gotten so used to the great husband...that you have placed a lower value on it. It's become the norm when what you really want at times is the great love. And this is a constant stuggle. So that's something you choose...and you're having to live with.
It does take two to tango though...so he's not blameless. What he needs to understand that he's a great husband and father...but he's neglecting a whole part of his being...being a great lover. I mean I don't get the impression that he's lousy in bed...just the frequency.
So it seems like both of you are on separate sides of this and you need to find a way to meet in the middle to get it to work.
What does he have to loose by continuing this behavior? How far are you willing to go and how much are you willing to put up with?
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." – Lao Tzu
