I guess that's where my frustration is coming from.
He is really quite the statue on this issue...nonmovable.
We have talked, planned, set up a timeframe, etc, and still no action on his part. He seems quite unable to proceed unless I am clearly showing my desire and sortof 'directing' things with either my speech or actions.
For instance, a couple yrs ago he said that he would have a greater interest in me if one day he came home from work and I was wearing a skirt with no panties. I happily obliged! There was no response to seeing me in a skirt and he never got close enough to see what was on underneath. Naturally this took all the wind out of my sails. He then said that he has to be in the right frame of mind, so I suggested that he be the one to ask for it (via email, since I know he is too shy/awkward to do it verbally) and I would again happily oblige. He never did this, of course. So again we talked about it and he said to give him a time frame..otherwise he'd keep putting it off. I said, Ok sometime within the next week you are to ask me to wear a skirt..etc. He never did it.
This is just one of many scenarios in which he wants to do things sexually but just canNOT bring himself to be aggressive in any way shape or form. Which would not be the end of the world, except that I really NEED this from him once in a while. I don't see myself being sexually satisfied with living the rest of my life being the one who guides everything and is tolerant and understanding of the times when he is nonresponsive to my attempts at doing something different.
I need him to put himself on the line once in a while in order to feel that it is something I am willing to do, also.
So I have zero confidence that planning or asking will get him to do this. When he DOES do anything remotely aggressive in the sexual arena, I praise him highly for it. He is usually plenty aggressive once we are started but, really, it is more of him feeding off my vibe instead of bringing something to the table himself.
Ok, Dave, when are you going to tell me to get off my arse and go to the library so I can re-read PM??!??!
