HP, We just had this very conversation this morning. Being and HDH, I can definitively say that us H's want the same thing and feel the same dissapointment when we realize that we either have to initiate or ask for them to initiate (at which time it isn't them initiating at all, is it?). Our convo this morning followed me going down on her, and then she was done...I asked if she'd ever wake me up that way, and her response was that it never even crossed her mind as something to do
Anyway, I think it may have a lot to do with the assertion in SSM that some in some folks desire follows arousal. She is certainly one of them. I think what we settled on was that she's got to "just do it" to get herself jumpstarted. I'm afraid it will always be a conscious effort on the part of the LD to do so, so I don't think it will come without lots of work on the LD's part. We've had a lot of discussions (well me talking mostly I guess) about things I dream about. She has picked up on some of it, so maybe there is some hope. Try talking more to H when not in the bed about how much you'd like to be jumped, and go into detail as to what he could do. Talk about it many times, and maybe he'll start to get the message, and if the mood hits oblige. Again, I think it takes a conscious effort on the part of the LD to get the desire jumpstarted.
