Quote: What to do when the HD partner wants to be attacked? Without having to ask for it or plan for it, which would obviously ruin the experience?
I think you do have to ask for it, but not right when you want it. Just describe to your H exactly what you mean by wanting to be "attacked" and tell him you wish he would do that every once in a while. When he does it, reinforce the behavior. My H does "attack" me sometimes. When he initiates sex, he isn't necessarily "wimpy" about it. The lack of "attack" encounters in my relationship is directly proportional to the lack of initiation on his part in general. He initiated an "attack" encounter a few weeks ago and I re-enacted it for him during phone sex last week. I just treat liking to be "attacked" the same way I treat any other sort of foreplay or technique that I enjoy. I just say the equivalent of "That was great. Please do it again soon." and hope for the best.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
