((((HP)))), Hang in there, Honey. I know from waiting for biopsies, they certainly take their time and the docs have to give you the worst case senario to cover their a**es. Listen to you, finding a positive in all this! Try to focus on your Hs well timed horniness and know that my prayers are with you.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
{{{{{HP}}}}} I send my strongest malignant-boogeyman-scaring thoughts eastward, sweetie, and hope it turns out to be nothing but some fat that you forgot to lose the last time you tried to diet.
Quote: I had a breast biopsy done on Wednesday and was really hoping the results would be back before the weekend but no such luck.I hate to be dealing with this at the end of a pregnancy; I want instead to be focused on my new babe.
Hi Honeypot,
I don't know if we've talked before, but I lurk here occasionally and very much enjoy your posts. I've got my fingers crossed that it'll be nothing - and it's normal for the results to take a while. It doesn't mean they found anything wrong. At your age, chances are great that it'll be a cyst or a (benign) fibroadenoma. I'm thinking of you!
I know what you mean about spilling your guts on a BB...this is my first experience on a BB and I have become very attached. In fact, the recent conflict I had on my vacation I shared with no one but bared my soul here.
Thinking of you,
Journey--- who, along with D12, will be having her own own "baby" this Oct.... a puppy!
Is it ever acceptable to want your partner to read your mind?
Intellectually I know the answer to this but lately I have a hard time living this out.
My H's horniness was short lived, if it was ever there.
So the last two nights I have laid there and wanted so badly to be done. To have him take control and show me his desire and enthusiasm. Of course, there was no way for him to know this. My outward signs were not flowing and he is justified in not realizing what I wanted. NOT that he should be realizing squat; I'm just trying to paint the picture accurately.
I couldn't help but feel disappointed the first night when he went to sleep. The second night I gave in to my pissiness and picked a fight with him. He (correctly) said that he had no idea what I wanted. I replied that I believed that to be true and yet, still, he knows that I want more sex than 0-1 time per week. I asked him what the problem was..what had changed from HIM wanting it 2-3 times per week to less than 1. He replied that he didn't know. He could not answer whether it is definitively the pregnancy or not; my suspicion is that it plays a part but that he is just getting into a different pattern than the one we were in. (I will hold off on speculating which pattern--frequent or infrequent--he enjoys more:)
He said that he wished I would tell him when I am in these moods. I agreed with him that I was being unreasonable but that I couldn't figure out how to handle the situation--if I TELL him that I want my bones jumped, doesn't it completely change the dynamics of the encounter from being jumped to H following orders??
He has offered mercy sex the last two nights and I declined. I can't even say that I am at a place where I appreciated the offer.
I need someone to whack me and tell me to give him a break--he is not a mindreader. I apologized to H last night, fwiw, because of this very thing.
So my question becomes: Is it ever acceptable to want your partner to mind read? Can I want it but just not reserve the right to become pissy if he doesn't catch my brainwaves I'm throwin at him?
I'm just thinking that there are certain sexual wants that cannot be explicitly stated or the whole atmosphere is lost. Wanting to be attacked is one of those.
Now, I should point out that my H attacking me is still very very subtle. It would involve, say, some passionate kisses and caresses and then him saying that he wants to ML. That's it.
I'm not sure how to deal with the problem of his not owning his desire. He will "offer" sex to me but will not EVER say that he wants it on his own, even if all the obvious signs are there. He will always ask if I want it and wait for me to show my own desire before he will reciprocate. I'm not sure how Schnarch would deal with him.
But that approach aint what Momma's in the mood for, LOL! I want a lover who will, occasionally, show me his desire first. And I don't want to have to 'draw' those feelings out of him. This is perhaps where the HDW's and the HDH's part company. I think the fellas are much more willing to work the scene. I work the scene normally but I felt the need for some pampering this weekend and wanted H to just take the damn reins, for once.
He said last night that he needs to feel "safe" before he can continue on with the initiation. And until I show my desire clearly he can't feel safe. I replied that this puts me in a false place b/c I have to "show" arousal that I am technically not feeling yet. If I just lay there and enjoy it, he will stop. There HAS to be some outward sign. Me doing the LDW stuff will not suffice either. I cannot drape my leg across him so that he has better access or position myself so that he can caress my breasts. These things are so normal in my home that he takes them for granted. The signs he is looking for would be something like: increased breathing, me saying something, grabbing his penis, kissing him, etc. I could have done those things either night and I wouldn't be feeling frustrated this morning but I am in a stubborn mood, I suppose. I WANT HIM TO DO ME. Me specifically requesting that (and holding him to it because he would inevitably try to weasel out of it) would totally ruin the experience for me.
Sometimes it seems as if the HD partner will forever have to accept the limited way of ML that the LD partner will allow. After all, I can't MAKE him show his desire first. I have PM'ed him, did it last night in fact, and this does not appear to be an area in which I will ever see progress.
I think I'm just stressed this morning. I sure could have used a good f*ck this weekend. He thinks I'm weird for feeling that way (he told me this in so many words, btw) but I could care less!
It is hard for us to understand why, even with all the encouragement and support that we give our spouses they continue tho have their self doubts. They continue to second guess even if we are explicit about our desires and that is hard to change. Part of his reluctance is your growing belly, thinking that he may harm the baby. I don't know why people freak out about having sex when you are pregnent. Unless it's extraordinarily strenuous, it should not be a problem. You can always stop if there is discomfort.
Hugs to you about the biopsy and wishing you well with the results. It is hard waiting, but you are being proactive about it and that is positive. BC also runs strongly in my family and I know how that makes me feel. I have annual mammograms and do a breast check often, so I am doing what I can, too.
Jo, Thanks for the well wishes. I should know something this morning and my gut feeling is that it is good news. (well sortof good news, I still have to have the blasted thing removed! Grr)
My dad had breast cancer when I was 19 and so he is a basketcase, calling me and telling me he loves me etc. I told him to quit browsing the coffin catalogues, that I was fine as far as I knew and to just sit tight and I will let him know as soon as I find something out.
Quote: But that approach aint what Momma's in the mood for, LOL! I want a lover who will, occasionally, show me his desire first. And I don't want to have to 'draw' those feelings out of him. This is perhaps where the HDW's and the HDH's part company. I think the fellas are much more willing to work the scene.
I've been saying it ever since I've been on this board. It is much trickier to be a HD "submissive" than a HD "aggressive". There is a subtle difference between being a 'passive' sexual partner and wanting to be a 'submissive' sexual partner, but this difference means a lot to a HDW. I suppose in order to not be sexist, I should state that if there was a HDM who mostly wanted to be sexually dominated then he would have the same problem. I'm sure that, like me, you are capable of being the dominant partner and you probably enjoy it a lot of the time, but it's not really what you're looking for. I suppose we can content ourselves with the fact that our H's act dominant once they get past the initiation hurdle, but still it's frustrating.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
We just got a discount coffin store here in town. The only reason that I know about it was the "tasteful" sign out in front of the establishment as I drove by. I had a really hard time not to pull over and see just what they had to offer... LOL As many times as I have wanted Ol' Deadpants to drop dead....
Which would be better: 1. knowing that your partner can, indeed, read your mind, and they ignore you anyway, or 2. knowing that it's metaphysically impossible for them to read your mind, and they snore away?
I say #2.
Maybe a system is needed like the Mongolian lady and the flag. Although I wouldn't recommend letting him chase you on horseback at this point in your pg.
Please let us know about your boob. I'm thinking about it all the time.
