MM wrote: ------------------- He said that as far as men are concerned pretty and sexy are the same thing. I really would like to know if this is true or just some sort of LD semantics -------------------
For me, sexy is BETTER than pretty - Example: Ellen Barkin
I am talking about exuding an attitude (sexy), not projecting an image (as in bad B grade cinemax sex movies).
Beautiful women are just that - beautiful. A sexy beautiful woman (at least to me) has no greater allure than the true sexy woman.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
After a week in Mexico, I don't think there's any difference shaving down south than when in the north. It's a cut-and-slash operation.
And I have a green bathing suit with a red "bulls-eye", IYKWIM. Women all over the beach covered their eyes whenever I came around. But maybe that was to protect them from the blinding glare off of "the man the sun forgot".
See, I consider myself to be more pretty than sexy. People who know me are always surprised to know how into sex I am, if the topic comes up and the friendship has progressed to a level where I feel comfortable sharing my life. I dress sexy but I don't feel that I walk sexy or move sexy or have a sexy voice, or what have you. Maybe I have a weird sense of what being sexy really is, but I rarely feel sexy until H and get going in the sack. My seduction skills are really cruddy.
I do think that men would watch me walkin down the street and say that I'm "hot" or something like that but that is just in regards to my body, not necessarily my style or behavior.
On the other hand, if sexy is defined as a woman who is confident and happy go lucky, then I'm in! I'm also not much of a flirt, although I can be. There are very few men that I'm attracted to and I have no inclination to flirt just for the sake of flirting. I do laugh heartily at innuendos and jokes and stuff and I have noticed that men really respond to that. I am not demure or "mom-like" in that some women I know would respond with a "Oh Bill........". If it's funny I will respond and maybe take it a little further, although not much.
My initiation skills have gotten lots better (although last night would indicate that I'm not very good at it, eh!) but if H were to request that I come up to him and seduce him with my behavior I think I would have a difficult time with that. If I could just come up and drop to my knees, otoh, I'd be fine.
This is clearly a confidence issue and has nothing to do with my H and our dynamics with each other. I was like this in previous relationships as well.
You describe what defines sexy, IMO. It doesn't have to be blatant, just an openness shown through your words, actions and sense of humor.
A lot of us HDs (M & W) have undoubtably been shot down unmercifully for making sexual innuendos, followed up by attempts to make us feel guilty for making them. Consequently, we don't make them any more.
Sexy has a lot to do with just being yourself and allowing someone else to do the same. (And being willing to come up and drop to your knees doesn't hurt, either. )
Mike - I used to be myself, but that didn't work. Now I'm somebody else. That doesn't work either, but there's a lot less fighting in the house because of it.
Welcome back, Mike. Missed your sardonic humor around here. The go to your knees and the shaving comments had me rolling!!! Sometimes my co worker wonders what's so funny. I don't always have the heart to tell her.
I hope that there were smiles happening on your vacation. Sometimes you look forward to having a vacation that the reality of it all is a dissappointment. I hope there were smiles and that you got some, not shot down as per usual.
You are the definition of sexy. Sexy isn’t something you do any more than it’s the way you look; it’s the way you are. Looks help, but it’s attitude that really counts. Actions are good too, but they’re a side-effect of the attitude. Sexy is hard to define, because any single thing I would normally consider sexy becomes decidedly UNsexy when carried too far. Confidence, humor (especially a dirty mind), being comfortable with your sexuality – those are sexy. Overconfidence can become a turn off. Too dirty a mind becomes tiresome.
Being comfortable with your sexuality is a little harder. You can never be too comfortable with your own sexuality, but the way(s) you express it can be too much. Your laughing at innuendos and jokes is good. Taking it a little further is good. Taking it too far isn’t. Always injecting innuendos into convos isn’t. Dressing to accentuate your assets is good. Flaunting them isn’t. Being able to say, “F*ck me” when that’s what you want is very good. Saying that every time makes it seem mechanical. Being comfortable in your skin goes a long way.
It doesn’t feel like I’m doing very good at this, but it’s the best I can come up with on the spur of the moment. All I can say is that if the persona you project here is the real you – you’ve got sexy down pat.
In my youth I dated a guy who was not very attractive, physically. He was shorter, glasses, just kind of a less than average looking guy. BUT he took great pains to dress well, was articulate, smart, funny, a charming companion. He could make a woman weak in the knees because he was very confident, not in a cocky way, but just quiet confidence, and he was dynamic in bed..
He gave what was inside of him, NOT relying on an attractive exterior, because he just was not good looking at all. He always had a date because of his generous soul and compassion which more physically attractive guys, but real jerks, too, could not understand. He made you feel like you were the most cherished person on the planet when you were with him, going out of his way to please you in many different ways.
If you met him, you might not have a favorable impression of him because of his appearance. If you got to know him, you would know that he was a very sexy guy and would make you feel sexy too.
I've always wondered what happenned to him, wondering if he ever had plastic surgery or decided that he did not need to have the exterior match his interior.
He could really dance. The moves on the dance floor made people take notice and this was in the 70's during the disco era.... He guided you around the floor as if you were the only couple out there.
You know, I am really not vying for other validation; just relating that I am not what I would think of as conventionally sexy. But thanks for the kind words anyhoo!
As far as portraying myself accurately, oh my do I ever. I live in total fear that my H will stumble across my thread someday. Even if I had not gone into excruciating detail about conversations we have had...even if I had not rehashed his problems with balancing religion in his life (dead giveaway, IOW)...even if I had not physically described myself... he would know me in an instant. The way I type is the way I talk. My personality is almost exactly as I portray here, with the exception that I whine a heckuva lot more here than I do at home! LOL
In closing, I really really really really hope that he never discovers my alter ego, Honey. He'd kill me!! Anyone else have a spouse that would freak to know that the intimate details of their private life are now not so private?
Women all over the beach covered their eyes whenever I came around. But maybe that was to protect them from the blinding glare off of "the man the sun forgot". 
)