The Morning Report:

First I should preface by saying that this is going to be an incredibly busy week for us. All of it was brought on by me, and all of it is my responsibility and activities. For some reason, this still stresses H out. He said that he was feeling lots of stress about the week and I pointed out that it was all things that I have to do and be present for...what exactly is he stressed about? He didn't know.

Now on to the good stuff. Our EC was rock solid last night. He even threw a tizzy fit at one point and I stayed calm and paid no attention to him. He thanked me later and professed amazement that I did not take his bait. (I am a hothead and esp so during pregnancy) I told him that he was not worth the rise in my blood pressure, lol.
We went to bad happy and satisfied with each other.

Then I made the fatal mistake of trying to touch him. Not touch him in an erogenous zone but merely TOUCH him. His hands flew up like that dork from the Karate Kid, trying to wax me on and off. I persisted in a loving and bemused way, trying to let him know that a wife wanting to touch her husband is not a freakish thing worthy of that sort of drama.
He said, "You're trying to tickle me." I replied that I wasn't even MOVING my hand; it was completely still. So we laid like that for a while and he shifted his weight. My hand fell off his side where it was innocently resting ( ) and landed on his penis. He then really started freaking out and we had a tussle where he was trying with all his might to get my hand removed and I was trying to keep it there. He won, since he is tons stronger than me, but I put up a good fight.

Then he launches into this spiel about just wanting to go to sleep tonight, etc. We are both still in excellent moods at this time. I reminded him that his specific request from me on both Thurs and Fri was that I show more nonsexual affection and initiate if I want sex, instead of wanting sex and sitting around waiting for him to step up to the plate. We have had this convo before, btw, and I have always given up on it far too soon b/c he has a VERY hard time accepting my initiations and I get pissy after a while.

He said, "I know I asked for this type of thing but I just don't want it tonight." I said, "So I should wait until a night when you already want it and then just beat you to the punch? What about when I want it? How does that play into the equation?"
He said it does but just not tonight.

Then I felt creeping resentment showing up. I started making these immature and snarky comments which he ignored. We talked for a while longer and then before I went to sleep I said, "H I have to tell you that I am mildly irritated with how you received my initiation tonight but I am still sorry for all the dumb wisecracks."
He looked genuinely surprised and said, You ARE irritated? I said, Of course I am. I am trying to do what you requested of me, as well as trying to go with what feels good and natural to me at the moment, and you are blocking that.
He made no reply and we went to bed.

Today I still feel that mild irritation. This has been a long standing argument of ours. He says, "Honey, if you want more sex, then just GO FOR IT. Stop waiting for me to do all the work because I just don't think of it as often as you do."
So I do and this is what happens 8 out of 10 times. You know, I'm only human. There is no human being who will continually subject themselves to rejection and yet keep on tryin with a happy face and optimistic heart! It doesn't work that way!

I can understand that he just didn't feel like it last night but I think he could have sucked it up, in light of the fact that he JUST requested all this from me 3 days prior. Don't present something as a viable solution if you have no intention of following through with it. Grrr!

Today I have a really busy day and will have no time to think and ponder on all this. As you all know, this is a good thing for me.

Catch yall later!
HP