Oh, honeypot, my friend. This is just so hard. Everyday is a struggle. It is especially tough being so pregnant. Even if you were looking for validation from him, there's nothing wrong with that. The man could have given it to you. That was a very sucky initiation, and he was clearly picking a fight. I have the same issues with not being comfortable with non-sexual touching if the sexual touching has not happened in a long time. He has not called me on this, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
As far as sex during pregnancy, I think a lot of men are that way. I know my H needed a lot of convincing that he wasn't going to cause the baby brain damage! So hard as it is - try to cut him a little slack.
As far as his reasoning - that is bullshit and you know it. YOU are not ruining his desire. His desire was just not there, and he is turning it on you.
But you already know all of this. I just wanted to offer some hugs. Be gentle with yourself.
