After an hour or so of telling me everything I need to do in order to get his desire goin, he then tells me "Let's just make a fresh start." ??????
Meaning, he wanted to forget everything we were arguing about and just begin to be loving to each other again. Presumably this would include sex at some point in the near future so he would be off the hook.
Then he said, "Look we both need to work on our own issues. You need to work on the areas you need to improve on and I need to do the same."
I pointed out to him (not so nicely by that time) that all he had done so far was tell me everything I was doing wrong--I hadn't heard one damn word about what his changes were going to entail!
And herein lies another one of our big obstacles to finally overcoming this: He truly believes that what I want is unreasonable and so there is no need for him to change. Sure, he pays lip service to it but the REAL reason he doesn't make any lasting changes is because he doesn't think he should have to. Now I am not mindreading here, he told me last night that what I want is unreasonable and so I am making a logical conclusion.
So he wants to give me what he feels is reasonable and is devising ways for me to accept this while he gets to still feel loved and like he is doing a good job. WTF do I get out of this setup, I say??
Gosh I am so down and dejected this morn.
He doesn't have any sexual thoughts about me, ever. He doesn't see me as a sexy person, as others do. He gives me sex when he feels like it and ONLY then. He thinks I am needy. His desire for me has slipped, due to being pg. He is no longer (evidently) willing to stick to our twice a week agreement. I could go on and on but even I am getting sick of my pity party.
I did ask if he was thinking of cutting me off. I told him that I got really resentful of him making this unilateral decision without even a word of warning to me, with the other 2 pregs. I would appreciate it if he let me in on what was going on. He replied, No I am not thinking of doing that. But...really, W, how long did you think we were going to keep having sex? Up until the week you're due?! (snort) I said, I didn't really have any time frame--I suppose I thought we would be ML whenever we felt like it and just go from there. He seemed horrified at the thought but was at least sensitive enough to not gag right in my face, at the thought.
So I think that part of this is the pregnancy but I don't know how much.
I am beginning to realize that, when I thought my H's libido had raised and we were having lots of sex, that what had actually happened was his desire to say NO had gone down. I really thought he was just wanting me more.
I gotta quit this. I am in a very down mood today. To top it all off, I have a *%$#! dentist appt.
