Mo, I think you're on to something with that explanation.
I can honestly say that the majority of times I am not going after him, seeking validation, and that I am truly horny and wanting HIM for all the reasons that a person wants to ML to their spouse.
This past weekend....not so much. Saturday I wore the halter dress and did not get a reaction from him, except the unusual manhandling he did while we were in the store. Yesterday I wore a shirt that the last time I wore it, he told me: "I will have sex with you EVERY time you wear that shirt!!" since the black dress didn't do it. Clearly this was a bunch of other validated baloney on my part but, hey, I was on a roll. So the Sex Shirt didn't work either..neither did me getting the kids into bed..I know he would have gone along with me, had I said "We WILL be having sex tonight" but that didn't really appeal to me.
One thing that I said to him last night was this really irrational and awful line: "H, I don't want to have to DO anything. I don't want have to be this person who gets the kids in bed early and is cheerful ALL the time, and gives you hugs and kisses in exactly the way you want them, etc. I just want to BE. I just want to walk across the room and have you want me. I just want the fact that I am your wife to turn you on. I don't want to have to do anything else!!!!!!!!"
I'm telling you, I had a major fit of the whines. I mean, I do think those things but at the same time I know that is not a reasonable way to think and I can't really believe I voiced it. Today I hadn't heard from him and was starting to feel anxious. I HATE feeling like I chase him every day of his life...so I just sat with it and didn't do anything, while still staying in a good mood. He called a minute ago and said that he has had an incredibly busy day. So whew!, that I didn't email any other pursuing and fused junk to him. Today I am doing a much better job at HOM but I feel bad that I had to vomit out all that emotional and hormonal junk in order to be able to pull it off.
I asked if he had anything to do tonight and he replied, Nothing I can say over the phone. I pressed him to be more specific because...you know...my H is famous the world over for making these statements that COULD be taken sexually but there is always an option to backpedal, if he needs to. He never would say what it was but methinks he was flirting...?! Now I've been wrong about this a time or million, so we'll see. I will try not to pounce on him when he walks in and say, Whadja mean by that, huh huh!
