This is what I meant by a method that is too "warm" and makes me feel like a Stepford Wife. I am not an incredible loving being. I feel like a big faker if I try to be one. I am pretty much an ordinary loving being with a low tolerance for "mush". Hallmark stores give me hives.
I am frustrated because though I am happy that my H is now behaving in a more loving manner, that isn't really what I was after. I like it when my H gives me presents and cuddles and declares his love, but I mostly like these things because they make me think that maybe some sex is forthcoming. I feel like by using methods that improve the emotional connection in my marriage, I have improved the emotional connection but E-C doesn't necessarily spell S-E-X to my H. He can understand that I want to be loved, but he thinks a dozen roses can take the place of a roll in the hay.
On the other hand, if I try to concentrate on the methods that are most effective for just getting me more sex, these are not great for EC. Basically, they are methods that would make any man want to have sex with me more. Namely, making myself more attractive, appealing to alpha dog competition and being extremely sexually confident. These are the methods that seem a bit "cold" to me. I have solid evidence that they work quite well, at least in the short run, but it's kind of depressing to me that they do work so well. Also, it is kind of exhausting to use these methods. This is why I said that I'm not comfortable being Wonder Woman and, frankly, the more time I spend in this role, the more I wonder what's wrong with wanting to have sex with the cute guy on the beach who's checking me out?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
