A person who operates with integrity, with love, does not worry about always being the ‘strong one.’ It never occurs to them to be anything but. There is no resentment there for a role assigned. It is a natural way of being. You lead because that is what love does, not because you 'choose' to lead, or be strong. You lead, you are strong, because that is what you do as your authentic, loving self. Even if you are not an obvious leader, assigned the role of leader, you lead nonetheless because you are you. It is not about titles or assignments. It is about doing whatever needs to be done through compassion and empathy and wisdom. Those always stay at the forefront. There is no question of need or boundary, what comes first, who comes first and when. There is nothing to protect, there is nothing to need because you cannot protect love. You cannot guard it. You can only give it away. Always. Through the mediums of compassion, wisdom, strength, joy, empathy… you are the loving person you are... not some HDW who has no place in the world.
You listen authentically. You give authentically. When someone makes a request of you, you listen with love and you give with love. That does not mean you become a door mat to life. But you can be a door -- a welcoming haven to all who request shelter in your space. Love yourself first, yes, but do not guard it. There is nothing to protect. There is no fear in love. When fear is absent, there is no resentment. There is no question. All there is is love.
When anger and resentment are present, fear is present, and that means you are not loving. If you are not loving, you cannot make a decision or take action IN love. All you are doing is whining and complaining and NOT being YOU.
To get yourself back to the loving YOU that you are, suspend all thought, all action, all decisions. You clear your body of the negative energy and surround yourself in love… immerse yourself in the positive energy of love. Then you resume your thinking. If you cannot rid yourself immediately of the aner/fear/resentment, hold off on whatever you are doing, hold off on any action/decision/thought, if you can.
Take a break. Take a bath. Take a walk. But get those negative thoughts out of your lovely heads and both of you remember the incredible loving beings you are, always, first and foremost. Then go do whatever needs to be done, with love.
