As a HD woman, one thing that seems very clear to me was how both PM and SSM are unconsciously? biased due to their author's viewpoints. I feel a little like Goldilocks in that PM is a bit too "cold" because it was written by a HD man and SSM is a bit too "warm" because it was written by a LD woman. Where is the book that is just right for me? I considered buying a book called "The Ethical Slut" on a recent trip to the bookstore, but it seemed to be oriented towards single women . I know I'm probably being a whiner, but it seems to me that a lot of HDWs have to deal with a double-whammy. We have to take the lead in order to improve our sex life because we are HD and we have to take the lead in order to improve our emotional connection because we are women. The potential reasons for the problem and the potential solutions to the problem presented in the books just don't ring quite true for me. I feel this way even though I've had success applying methods from both books. My discomfort, I believe, is due to the fact that I can't follow these methods to success in a way that feels entirely true to my identity and therefore my integrity. I can have a happy, passionate marriage if I become a Stepford Wife or if I become Wonder Woman, but how do I succeed in marriage as your garden variety ethical slut?

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver