Red Hot Momma's Still Morphing and Questioning

[sage]

I feel like I should respond to H's email, but don't know what to say?????????????????????
I've thought of saying:

I love you, and always will. I'm stuggling right now with a lot of issues and decisions and being with you makes it more difficult, so I kind of withdraw, I guess.

My two cents?

Say "thanks for your note. My leg is ....(fill in the blank)"

Not bitchy in any way but just answering at face value...I wouldn't suggest getting involved in more R talks over email (again, JMHO).

I'm sorry you're going thru this and for the roughness of the night...to continue to offer up my Opinion

I'd pull out your copy of DR -- not to "save your M" but because it's just darned good reading.

I'd not make any sudden moves and that includes rushing into R talks (tho' apply the details of your own sitch here, obviously! seems as though you're both in heighted emotion mode right now and that's a good time (ha) to say things that get "regretted")

I would make 3 simple short term goals for yourself to keep you focused...1 for YOU (you mentioned WW, maybe that's it), 1 just for fun (go have a massage, whatever) and 1 to continue addressing your highest priority issue in your m that YOU control (what was the most pointed thing that h threw at you last night?) -- again -- this isn't to SAVE anything per se, it's to keep you moving forward because I personally think it makes a person feel good to address issues. (maybe that's just me)

And here's the hardest one...I would drop the rope completely about OW...I think you've been doing a great job with the tangible side of this but your posts still seem SO FOCUSED on her...what time she comes into work, etc -- even before last night -- DROP IT -- STOP thinking about her -- you are wasting precious energy on someone and something you cannot control right now..

Now, I'm not suggesting for a minute that you should have to live in a M with an OW but deb, all the angst in the world isn't helping and it just seems like it's torquing you up.

FOCUS ON YOU, YOU, YOU...turn all of your energy inward right now.

My two cents.

Sage