Thanks Pamila, I appreciate your condolences. She was 93 and had lived a long life, but it's still kinda hard... Plus, I still need (always will) all the prayers I can get... I don't know what to think, but I sense something weird still w/H...he is gone now to "work", back around 12:30ish..I noticed this morning the lotion bottle in garage is moved again, so my guess is he's gone to see OW... Yesterday I drove w/D to grandmothers funeral...H did have to work till early afternoon, and then took S to some middle school-back to school functions he didn't want to miss. Dinner after the funeral was interesting, another old BF was there, hadnt seen him for manymany years, he's now married to one of my sister & cousins best friends. Well, he came over and sat down next to me....I didnt recognize him...we started talking, and he said, "I want to apologize for things I may have done in my younger, dumber years if there's something I need to apologize for"....(this is the first guy i ever had sex with, and he broke my heart, but I was 20 at the time...) I told him there wasn't and he said "I just wanted to put that out there"....we talked a little more, and later I saw him in a corner talking to his wife with his arms around her....interesting, I still recognize that response in him, means she was upset with the way he was talking to me, but any way, it was good to see him So, to real life, I got home 2 hours later lastnight than I thought I would, H was evidently home and not on the phone at least most of that time, because I called a couple times to let him know I was running late and D called him once to ask a question....when I came in, I kissed him and sat down to talk w/him a little, told him I had missed him and hoped to get home earlier, told him about seeing the old flame and the apology.... we were both really tired when we got to bed, I snuggled up to him, we ml, I think at his initiation, but he was to tired to have an orgasm...that's weird to me if he could perform but not do that...hmmmm. he made the comment that I was so naughty it was hard to imagine what I would have done with old boyfriends (not much, frankly, but I didnt say anything....maybe I need to take mystery wherever I can get it) Anyway, I was so tired I went to sleep, never heard his alarm this am, and didnt even wake up until maybe20 minutes before he was ready to go....I told him thanks for letting me sleep in, he said that was the least he could do and I should go back to bed and sleep as long as I wanted to, then it would seem like he would be home sooner. guilt?????
He said his goal was to get enough done that he doesnt have to work next weekend---I told him I'd do a naked jig on the picnic table if he didn't, he laughed and said it might bother the neighbors...
I don't know how to describe it, but I'm picking up "weird vibes"from him...oh, also on Friday he asked if I'm still doing my walking tapes ...he hadnt seen me do it for a while. told him truthfully I was but I've only gotten the shorter ones done this last 2weeks. Some how I believe this is a big issue with him, I don't know if it's a "deal breaker" or evidence that he still worries changes arent permanent.... I've just had this feeling the last 2 days that something is different with him emotionally, but it's not like he's distanced/disconnected from me...he seems quite, almost kind of mournful, I don't know if it's regarding OW, but of course I hope so. Someone posted to me once that Iwould know when it was over....How will I know, is it a 6th sense kind of thing? Slowly, if you see this, you mentioned on your thread that you sense a change in your H's r/contact w/OW....what is that like, what is different, if you can describe it????? I can't figure out what the heck is going on, it still makes me nuts, I don't snoop other than noticing the lotion bottle when I'm in & out of garage...I'll be curious to see what he's like when he gets home, we've made plans to grill out and watch a movie tonight. This coming Friday is when he's supposed to go to the workshop, I'm really struggling hard to NOT ASK anything about OW going w/him or even who...or if he's really going....If some body could talk some sense into me about that it would be helpful....It's just over 2weeks now since his night time scribbling of the infamous "list"........
