Hey Deb,

For lack of anything better to do I am going back to read some of the pertinent sections of DB. I like DR better, but I just about have it memorized, so I am thinking I might glean something else from DB.

It is always good to be reminded about our goals and how by us changing we can be a catalyst for change in the R.

I accept your condolences for my trip and it not being more "reconciling." I really wasn't sure what to expect, but it was weird that H didn't seem to be the same as he was when I saw him 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago he was more tender and loving and now he is on this "go slow" kick.

Did you actually tell your S what you were going to do with the lotion? My kids don't seem to know what to think about their dad and his temporary insanity. Sometimes I wonder if maybe my H is "certifiable." Mental illness runs in his family and he reminds me of one of those highly creative, tormented genius types like van Gogh, Georgia O' Keefe or Hemingway.

Sorry to blather on, this upcoming one year anniversary is weighing on me....I don't even know you, well really I do , but I just want to say that I truly do appreciate your kind words and continued input. My friends here on the bb really have helped me get through this sordid mess.

Pam