OH, yeah, it's NOT like she doesnt know he's married and has been since dirt was new....I could give her a break if she didn't!
No email today....blehhhhhh....I'm always undecided whether to be mysterious and let him sit or to "act as if" and email him....think I emailed him last time, so maybe it's a 180 not to today....I don't know.
OK, just got a short email from H asking how my headache is (have had one off and on for 2 days) and saying he's had some tough situations today....hmmmmmm......I always think he's hot & heavy w/Ow when he emails me late, but I guess maybe I need to keep in mind that when things were REALLY hot & heavy between her, he hardly emailed me at all!
Just wanted to check in and say hey. Sorry to see that the ring story has another chapter. Any update on the lotion sabotaging?
I wore my ring to Vegas. H didn't say a word. finally on the 2nd or 3rd day I said "I am wearing my ring because I am proud to be your wife." He never mentioned a thing about his ring so I never brought it out.
He is like a broken record always claiming to be "confused" and needing to find "balance" in his life. He just can't seem to make it happen.
We married these guys for better or worse, but this worse part is getting old fast. 8/25 is the one year anniv of bomb #1 but the actual PA has been going on since Jan 2003. When is he finally going to be rid of her?
Hi Pamila, I read your update on Vegas, and I'm sorry it wasnt more reconciling (I guess that's the word) for you and your H....I know, this stuff gets old fast. so far nothings happened with the lotion bottle, I figured there were still a couple of squirts of lotion left in the pump...yesterday was his "ring off" day, I think, although it occurred to me that maybe he only takes it off on staff meeting days, maybe he avoids her other days when he's here, who knows? anyway, it's bound to happen sooner or later, and I'm practicing keeping a straight face already...as well as playing dumb. Sad to say, S12 has it all down pat as to how he's going to do it....the kid looked me straight in the eye the other night and said "yeah, I had that happen to me once with that old lotion, and that crap gets all over your clothes and you can't hardly get it out"...he's practicing stand-up comedy routines, so he's pretty good at it. So, we'll just let this one play out.
For lack of anything better to do I am going back to read some of the pertinent sections of DB. I like DR better, but I just about have it memorized, so I am thinking I might glean something else from DB.
It is always good to be reminded about our goals and how by us changing we can be a catalyst for change in the R.
I accept your condolences for my trip and it not being more "reconciling." I really wasn't sure what to expect, but it was weird that H didn't seem to be the same as he was when I saw him 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago he was more tender and loving and now he is on this "go slow" kick.
Did you actually tell your S what you were going to do with the lotion? My kids don't seem to know what to think about their dad and his temporary insanity. Sometimes I wonder if maybe my H is "certifiable." Mental illness runs in his family and he reminds me of one of those highly creative, tormented genius types like van Gogh, Georgia O' Keefe or Hemingway.
Sorry to blather on, this upcoming one year anniversary is weighing on me....I don't even know you, well really I do , but I just want to say that I truly do appreciate your kind words and continued input. My friends here on the bb really have helped me get through this sordid mess.
Hi Pam, I don't know if it's any consolation, and I'm never sure what to make of it, but my H is exactly the same, as far as the "presto chango" routine. That is a big part of what makes me so nuts in this mess. I mean, how does a person handle it when one day your H is telling you he's realized you are the one he loves and he cant' imagine a life with out you and would never give up your home/life together, and how great your M is going to be and how hard he's going to work on it, and kissing your hands and asking you to hold him and then, 2 days later, he's cool and distant and you know he's "back" with ?????????????? I mean, WTF, how is a person supposed to know how to react????????? and keep their own sanity and wits about them. beats me. All I know is that it is incredibly hard.
I did a very poor job of being a mature parent, as I actually sabotaged the bottle of lotion in front of my son, standing at the kitchen sink and talking to him as I did it. Guess they'll probably withdraw my nomination for "mother of the year" over that one, huh? Interesting though, the scent of cherry/almond lotion makes me want to throw up anymore....I used to like it. which reminds me, I gotta pick up a bottle of white glue for the other lotion bottle. Do you suppose phone sex works well with Elmers Glue rubbed on your private parts?
Although I really do like the idea of you being detective and sabotaging the lotion (you go girl!), I have to caution you about dragging son into the mess if you want anything kept secret. It may be hard to imagine but son could get upset with you someday and spill the beans to H which would probably not help your cause at all. JMHO
And, from an outsider looking in, I see so many postives in your situation that I just want gag with envy. Take those positives and build on them...you really have come a long way.
Hi wishingtoheal...I know you and dfb are both absolutely right about keeping son out of the middle of things as much as possible, for his sake and other reasons. Not a good place for a kid to be stuck at all. I have to admit I was so irritated about the lotion though that it was "oh what the heck" and I just "did it". It's encouraging to know you see positives in my sitch. Some days I feel like a lot of progress has been made, and others I have a really hard time seeing it. slowly, slowly, slowly slowly I guess...one teeny tiny inching step at a time.
Hi dfb....Do you think maybe I should put in Super Glue instead of just old mild Elmer's? lol Actually I've considered doing that while he was asleep, but I couldnt ever figure out a way to make it look innocent, and I decided he would probably have a really hard time seeing the humor in it, so I gave that one up!
, but I just want to say that I truly do appreciate your kind words and continued input. My friends here on the bb really have helped me get through this sordid mess.