Hi Slowly, and all...thanks, I need to get over to "your place" and see whats up with you....things are so incredibly weird with H, he is just all over the place right now....I'll post a little about that separately in a minute... So you feel your H has emotionally disconnected from OW even though he continues to be in contact/involved with her? I hadnt considered that possibility....I believe you must be right about the pride, guilt, aspect however....I am trying to maintain some dignity and aplomb in this mess (of course, that's why I sabotage lotion, right?)ah, well...I notice things are so up and down and all over the place her on the bb for a lot of folks right now..... I have eased off the pursuit this week....one week on, one week off, maybe that will keep him wondering, do you suppose? I havent sent him any notes or cards this week....may or may not...Today is his day here, over in other building with OW....always a hard day for me....however, today I'm going to a lunch hour marketing network meeting....I've given a lot of that stuff up over the last 6 or 8 months, and I'm going today just to go.....let him sit over there with OW....
I don't know, as I think about it, I feel H is still emotionally connected to the b---h.
Last night H was just livid, he was so grumpy and angry....I know he had a really rough day at work, but it was like there was something more underneath the surface....I just kind of let it go, tried to "act as if"....he even apologized for being such a grump at one point, I told him it was ok, I knew he'd had a rough day....
When he first got home, he went to get one of his special beers out of the fridge...there werent any cold ones, I'd promised in an email I'd stick one in there for him since I get home earlier, and I completely forgot. I said "oh, I'm sorry, I meant to and forgot, and put one in for him....H responded "thats ok, I'm used to lots of broken promises"....now that was an incredibly weird response in my opinion over there not being a bottle of beer in the fridge.
This morning H is still grumpy as all get out, but is pleasant to me...I don't know how to describe it...I'm sure he was on the phone w/OW this morning....I don't know how much of his grumpiness is related to her, but I'm guessing some, there's just more under the surface than work and not having a bottle of beer.
I was talking about making reservations for the fall mini-vacation, and he said he didnt think we should go, that it wasnt that he didnt want to but finances....I mentioned that we could have everything straightened out by then and set aside enough to pay for it....he said he still didn't know....I let it drop and just left for work, but I tell you what, I'm gonna go somewhere whether he goes or not...I've earned it from all this crap, if nothing else! I can't help but wonder if OW has something to do with his hesitancy....I feel like it's best to drop the subject right now so that he doesnt feel pressured, whatever, but I'm gonna go somewhere. Havent heard a word from him today.....
Now, here's a weird part....last night H initiated ML....that's 4 days in a row, and mostly at his initiation, I have honestly been trying to stay kind of backed off.
WTF????? I don't know what to think of this....I can't help but wonder if it's some kind of weird testing on his part, especially since sex was on his infamous list of things a life partner would need to improve....This is one test that doesnt bother me now, though. I have to say I'm honestly at the point of "bring it on, guy, not a problem !"
So, help me figure this out....why is this guy who's all caught up in this hot love affair initiating sex with his wife four days in a row? A week before that it was 3X a day on Friday, and several days in a row before and after.... this is the guy who three or four months ago was complaining about too much sex, and that I was "sucking all his air away" when I tried to kiss him goodnight....
I have a great time anymore with sex, I never ever realized what a huge subconcious worry getting pregnant was. So, I'm REALLY enjoying and having fun. BUT....I don't know what to make of this, I really have no clue as to what could have brought on this sudden turn about in him, or what it might mean. I try to remind myself that "the books" say guys love the person they have sex with, but I still can't figure it out.
Thanks Ellie, I so hope you are right....It just seems so weird, plus his comment last weekend that "I can't believe it, it's like when you first meet somebody"....maybe the morphing is finally taking hold, do you suppose?
I sure hope it's reconnecting, I'm trying to be patient and follow his lead...however, I have so many fun ideas, it's kind of hard not to jump in "whole hog"....
along the lines of "reconnecting", h recently started doing his weekend "office work"???? on sat. mornings so we can have Sat. afternoon/evenings (he says anyway) BUT, at any rate, this means we are now attending church together on saturday evenings after many years of not doing so....h had pretty much stopped going to church entirely for about the last year, which was a HUGE thing for someone who grew up as an altar boy serving daily mass....OW pretty much doesnt go to church anymore....I'm hoping his recent (within last month) return to church is a sign of reconnection. Do you all see it as such?
Hi dfb, I know, it is so weird....it's like the exact opposite of where he was about 3 months ago. Then he was complaining about too much sex, that it was insulting that I thought all he was interested in was sex...I know just about when this was, it would have been about mid-march, just after his birthday, because I gave him a birthday card that said something about "nice butt", and we had a fight the next week and he got furious and threw the card at me....weird weird weird......one thing for sure, he's never boring because he may be totally different one minute than he was the one before....but it is fun right now, and I do have lots of fun ideas to pursue, slowly and in the right time - hehehehehe! I guess I'm thinking he's going to be around for me to get to pursue them! I hope that's right!
Hey Ellie, if you happen to read this, I'm curious, what do you make of Mr. Slick putting his wedding ring on around me and taking it off when he's around her? just curious...another weird aspect of this whole thing. why he wears it at all if he's so hot with her, comes home and is "hot" to ml, then takes it off when he's at work where she'll be. I think he pretty much wears it all the time except when he's exercising, mowing, or here at work where she is on Tuesdays....???????????????!!!!!!!????????????sigh
If anybody else has any thoughts, please, jump in too!
I had a thought last night that he takes it off when he's outside mowing, etc, so he won't get a tan line that shows "her" he's wearing it....I try to put it out of my mind, because there's not much to be gained by focusing on it, but it's hard not to speculate on...
Who knows, Deb? Lots of guys take their rings off when they work with their hands, because they don't want the ring to get caught on moving parts, or because it's just uncomfortable. At least he's wearing it around you, that's a start. It's not like the OW doesn't already know he's married, right?
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