Quote:

I just cant help but wonder if I'm deluding myself because I so much want this to work out, and in reality I'm only postponing the inevitable and intensifying the pain by doing so.

Hi Deb,

I think only you can answer what you are willing to put into this and how long you are willing to give it to try.

I don't know if this is any help or not. But I don't feel I ever whole heartedly tried to db my marriage because I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall so to speak.

I think if you can get to the place when yes, you know you want it to work out, but you are also moving forward with your life that you will feel better.

I am moving forward and if this had happened a year ago I would not have been so focused and desperate feeling about the marriage and probably would have had more of a chance of saving the marriage.

As far as how long on the affair I am not sure there are statistics as we are all different.

I know you want answers and you are tired of the limbo. I really, really understand that, but the detaching and moving on is really a better place to be.

{{{Deb}}}

I took some advil and had a chocolate candy bar this afternoon! My version of chocolate coated Advil.

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"