Hi Sage, I'm glad things have cooled down! I just wanted to point out something that might help see things from your H's POV.
Your post from 9/22/04: Got a wonderful e-mail from h yesterday AM where the final line was "I'm so happy being married to you". That seems like it's worth multiple positives, no?? It was just so darned nice to hear...and I made sure to mention it to h last night. I brought him some food home from the restaurant and we hung out on the couch talking about school, work, sport etc. We were both really snuggly...kind of draped all over each other sitting on the couch...and he was very verbal -- said "I really love you" at one point...it was a positives packed day!
Fast forward to last night where you insinuate he's hiding something from you.
I know you see this Sage, and you're wrestling with past hurts & fears & wanting to understand more about the hows & whys of the EA, so I am not really saying anything new here. Only that I can understand his frustration in the moment - feeling that no matter what he does, it will never be enough. Do you see that hanging on to those fears ends up making him feel like you are negating his thoughts & feelings that he has expressed such as "I'm so happy being married to you". ?
I very much see this as a stepping stone - for both of you.
