I am sorry that finding that email has sent you to a place of sadness and frustration. I do, however, agree with LL regarding using this email for YOU. For you to see that you tried all this before and it didn't work with H.
I ,as you know, struggle with wanting to KNOW all the time. I need to constantly focus AWAY from needing to know it all and focus on today. I dont' have the R you have today but I focus on dd, my job, my friends, my life TODAY.
I also think that every phase we go through prepares us for the next phase. Example: I'm starting to come out of a down 2-week-period where I slept more than usual, cried more than usual, etc.....and....I think it helped get me to today. Today I feel that I really have no control over H and he does, so why worry about it?
I trust and believe that you will work this out in your mind and perhaps get to the other side where this stuff wont' hit a nerve anymore.
Quote: There's another part of me that surprisingly just isn't reacting...it's like I'm feeling "ok, interesting piece of data but wasn't that eons ago? why are you gonna start dwelling on it now?"
