Something else I do is to try and steer the conversation away from something unpleasant.
-With H: I want to stay far away from R talks and at the same time I can't help wanting to KNOW. I think I miss opportunities to listen and validate. -With others: I get uncomfortable and not ask follow-up questions...or almost go the other way. I dont' want the other person to think I'm nosy or crossing some line so I don't ask. I also worry about appearing non-caring.
It's so hard to find the balance, no?
what I've found really helps me is simply slowing down..realizing that I don't have to react or respond instantaneously...it gives me the opportunity to really listen more and to communicate my thoughts! The added benefit has been that by slowing down I am much better matched with h's conversational pace and he talk A LOT more!!!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
