The miracle is this....

[sage]

anyway, I made some validating response but h clearly got it because in a few minutes he said .... "look....the house is completely distinct from us...there's no ultimatum here...or suggestion that we have to move or I'll leave you forever...we're just working on this together".

wow! what did you say to him? I think (ASSumption) that my H would have held on to this until we had a huge blow-up about it. It's so refreshing to see that your H, too, has worked so hard and has come a long way.

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I told him that I really appreciated him saying that, that I needed to hear it and that it helps me a lot to understand what level/priority/extreme his frustration is at. I think that's what led to our discussion about communication -- h's statements on us bringing ASSumptions to the table (and how we should test them with each other) and my statements to him that sometimes I feel like I'm not paying enough attention/"hearing" what he's saying, is important to him.

I get so distracted and caught up in other things that if it's not prefaced with "look, this is really important" I think I miss it!

Why IS that? I don't think that happens with other people as much as it happens with h -- I guess I'm still "doing" other things while talking with him? If not actually "doing" something then "thinking" something while he's talking?

Hope you have a good first-night-of school!

Thanks. It was good. I'm taking "Entrepreneurship" which is the area that the school is best known for. The teacher seems good. I got on a project team that seems positive, too (that's always a biggie for me). Also, I'm only taking one class this semester so I think the work load will be manageable.

Sage