I think it's always interesting to realize that patterns (such as the Conversation of Ultimate Doom) I think are unique to my M are really something that others are experiencing. I also confess that I share a secret fear of not "making it." Before I knew what I know now, DBing and all, I guess I didn't really appreciate what I had. So now that my M is more precious to me, I realize exactly what I would be losing. I know I could handle it, but the fear is there. Sometimes that internal questioning dynamic (where I mentally criticize myself for being so open, loving, and forgiving) just takes over. I know my sitch. I know what happened, and I know where I and my H were when it happened. It was horrible and painful, but we are not there anymore. I don't know what will happen in the future, but i know I am going to enjoy the heck out of right now! Taking life for granted is not a mistake I'll make again.
I guess what I am trying to say is "I understand." Living through this stuff is hard, and I think regression happens now and then. You are thinking in a goal-oriented way, so you are doing fine.
Hugs to you, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
