Quote: I immediately was uncomfortable when someone seemed to be making an overture towards me...and how CLEARLY, h had not shared that "sixth sense" when things started traipsing over the line...(stupid, stupid cheeseless tunnel...the sitchs are world's apart -- I know that) -- and in some way it freaked me out thinking -- how miserable must h have been to NOT have been freaked out by OW?? (also, not saying that she pursued HIM like this guy is doing...)
The sad but simple truth is, women are much more subtle when it comes to seduction, and men are much more stupid. Most poor men don't even see it coming - and the women involved manage to convince the men that it was the man's idea! My H actually thought his R with OW just "happened" - wasn't until he was over it that I could point out to him all the ways she had manipulated him into it, playing on his weaknesses.
So don't ASSume your H had that same radar feeling you got the other day - odds are real good he DIDN'T - he probably never knew what hit him.
Frankly - I can't blame you for being scared about the baby thing. I know that biological clock is ticking, but frankly, I'd sure want to see that H had a CLEAR UNDERSTANDING of WHY he was susceptible to an affair, a PLAN for dealing with his issues (in my H's case, Prozac for his depression and a breakthrough insight during counseling), and was demonstrating a long time of clearly avoiding the "near occasions of sin" without needing to be told.
You are not crazy - your H IS high risk for repeating this behavior, and choosing to have a child with him is a risk. Of course, someone new may be a risk too, and if your H can TRULY learn from this, he may actually revert to an average risk - but that learning from this process is more than just falling back in love with you and feeling remorse - they NEED to understand why they did it. I made the mistake of not pushing my H to learn this the first time, and that's how I ended up in such a mess 18 years and three kids later.
