Quote: I'm noticing that my h changes his mind often about "plans" -- this used to drive me insane (when I was such a control freak that everything had to be nailed down!) but it's so freeing to just say "sure, of course it's ok if we don't..." and it IS! I like this flexability stuff!
Hey, thanks to you I'm liking this too! I ALMOST freaked out last night when it was getting later and later and we weren't leaving for the driving range....but....I dropped it and enjoyed the evening. Thank you for helping me with this for the past countless months.
Quote: Whatever the reason, I swear he came in with his tail between his legs...unfortunately, it made me feel (and act) IRKED -- which was EXACTLY the reaction that he was expecting (for other reasons apparently) and EXACTLY the reaction that I didn't want to give...
I feel this sometimes as well....not as much as before though. I think you would tell me to act "as if" and not make ASSumptions about why he SEEMS to be xyz.
Off to get ready for work as I have an early mtg. Be back later.
OK, Tuesday morning feels mildly better than Monday (I AM a morning person...just not enthused about the job right now).
Met h after school yesterday to go out for drinks/dinner. On the way to the restaurant I took a tumble -- landed on my hands and knees! In the larger scheme of things I emerged relatively unscathed (just some scrapes on my hands). H was totally awesome throughout -- concerned but not overwhelmingly.
Dinner was good but I ate and drank too much. Don't feel so great right now (tho' we did get up at 5 to go to the gym!). h offered the toast "here's to bouncing back from things that knock us down" but then told me he got his grade from his summer class and that he wasn't too pleased with it It was definitely the case that he traded off the write on competition for the law review with studying -- the right choice for sure but I think he was a bit bummed. I'm glad he shared it with me.
The day looks good work-wise...not sure what's up with tonight but I hope it doesn't involve food
(Just kidding -- I'm fine -- just need to get back to WW!)
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I particularly like my cainercast for today...it's in line with where my head is at:
Success is not a word that lends itself to narrow definition. Are you, for example, entitled to consider yourself successful if you pass a difficult exam? Not if, on the same day you also make a loss elsewhere. To be a truly successful person, you surely have to be genuinely happy. Happiness is not an experience that bestows itself exclusively on the 'successful'. Often, indeed, it seems more eager to reward those who eschew all that the material world has to offer. Aim now - not for some trivial triumph but for meaning and magic. It's easy to get what you think you want. But what do you REALLY want?
Had a quick conversation with h. Sounds like he had a busy day at school and needs/wants to do some homework tonight. I'm really glad that he felt open to letting me know that -- I'd hate it if he was worried that I might not understand!
I'm so proud of him! Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
arrgh. just lost my post (you can assume it was brilliant lol! )
Had a good night last night -- h had lots of studying so he concentrated on that while I read a bit, did some stuff around the house. We cooked dinner together (spaghetti with pesto) and then he went back at it. watched a bit of the sox game together then off to bed.
I think he was concerned that I would feel neglected or peeved that he had to study but I didn't feel that way at all -- tried to reassure him of that. In fact, I like having the time to read or putter during the week...I think I've been less than upfront with him about my desire/need to do that sort of thing for myself, too...afraid, I suppose, that he would view it as my not wanting to spend time with him if he were available. I guess we're both "guilty" of ASSuming the other person will feel neglected.
he has a super busy and long day today...I'm going to try to take his pulse later about whether or not I should pick up dinner or if he'll want the break of going out or if he'll want/need to do more studying. I didn't want to rush the question this AM since I suspect he'll be more clear as the day goes on...
My day looks good...I may try to leave a bit early (an hour or so) to do some stuff around the house...I'm feeling the need to throw some things away/recycle them/donate. Too much "stuff" --
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
i don't know why but I went from feeling OK, a bit tired, to feeling crabby and irked. Spent a bit too much time this AM feeling intense anger at the XOW, seething inside, plotting revenge (mind you that it's been 18+ months -- arrgh!). Don't like the feeling at all but I'm sitting with it -- I declare this "sage should be nice to sage" day (instead of beating myself up for my feelings!). Maybe I'll have a donut
Things at home are awesome. H had a super long day yesterday and still got off the train full of love and delight. I thanked him heartily for his enthusiasm at seeing me.
Tonight is "errand night" #2 -- heading to Target and the grocer store -- woohoo!
Sage ( -> )
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Oh, yah, the cainercast for all you geminis! I gotta love how he tells me exactly what I needed to hear...
Two and two makes what? Twenty two? Two and then two more? We can get as clever as we like with our answers to certain simple questions. When we link the power of reason to the power of imagination, we can go on wild flights of glorious fantasy - showering the watching world with explanations as we soar above them. We can also use the same facility to drive ourselves into frenzies of fear and agitation. Creativity is a fine thing, but what you need now is realism. Let two and two make four and no more. Then, relax. Everything will add up to the right answer.
A good reminder for me to focus on the reality of my present and to get my head out of my butt about the past and some negative fantasy future.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
but then told me he got his grade from his summer class and that he wasn't too pleased with it 
It was definitely the case that he traded off the write on competition for the law review with studying -- the right choice for sure but I think he was a bit bummed. I'm glad he shared it with me.
)
