The miracle is this....

[sage]

I can't even express how much I'm loving not being in school...weekends actually contain free time! Who knew?

Spent yesterday (Saturday) doing errands, hiking (early!) and then visiting my sister and her baby for a few hours in the afternoon. h was still heavily involved in his paper. When I got home he had called it a day so we hung around, watched a bit of tv (Nomar trade ) and then got cozy . I wasn't sure what he was up-for in terms of plans for the evening (stay in? movie?) so I was trying to be accommodating but so was he so we both ended up being sort of indecisive. I did have an eye opening experience...he kept saying "do you mind if we do X instead of Y" -- I was completely personalizing the "do you mind" part -- hearing instead "I think you WILL mind because you are so inflexible but I'm going to ask anyway" so I finally said to h "I'm going to have to stop depersonalizing that sentence because it's driving me crazy" and he said "when I say 'do you mind' I'm already assuming that you won't but I want to ask out of courtesy anyway".

SO...not sure if that made sense to anyone but me but once again I'm reminded that depersonalizing and taking a positive view enhances our communication.

Another thing (probably cryptic to all but me) -- a really big positive in the area of communication -- we're going on vacation next week and we had decided not to take our bikes (h is a bigger and better biker than I am). I told him that I was relieved that we weren't taking them because I find it a big hassle. Well, the next day h said to me "I think I've changed my mind. Do you mind (LOL) if we do take the bikes afterall?" This is a biggie. H knew my feelings but still expressed his even though they were in opposition. I can't tell you how pleased that made me!

Last night h asked me if I loved him. I responded with a yes (of course) and then a list of things I love doing with him. Perhaps he was feeling not so sure? Gotta work on that!

I've been meaning to post for weeks about some thoughts I had on our communication. I had been ASSuming that the most important part of improving it was facilitating h's telling me things (either good or bad). I've realized, though, that yah, it's about that (hearing the good stuff, hearing the bad stuff) but it's also about being able to tell him how I feel (good and bad). I think I've been ignoring how important it is to h that he knows what I'm thinking and feeling. I also think that a major component for him is knowing when I am happy, when I am satisfied and if I'm not, what can be done to change it. Perhaps this sounds like "communication for dummies" but this really is an area that I think we're growing in every day.

Sage