Quote: I'm sorry I don't know what you mean by 'watch' him ??
Sorry, this might not apply to you yet. As you start "working" on things...you will inevitably paying close attention to his behaviors as a guage of your progress. It's very hard to be focused on "repairing" things without watching the other person closely.
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I will hang in there but to be completely honest I cannot see myself fighting through all of this confusion and frustration for another ten years, let alone a lifetime. There must be more to life ??
Don't worry...it won't take that long. When I was starting this process, I would have never envisioned that I would be where I am right now in 6 months. The confusion and frustration will minimize to a manageable level as you increase your understanding of things and unless you are a slow learner or averse to introspection, it shouldn't take to long to feel like things are going in the right direction.
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He is definitely not a councelling sort of person
This is just my opinion but I'm very skeptical of marital counseling unless it is someone who practices Schnarch's "Crucible Approach" and integrates individual, couple and sex therapy as an "whole". Tim has asked his C to read PM and help him work through it. This would be a great thing to try on your own. If I could have gone back to the beginning of this process, I wish I could have secretly worked on myself while living in the "roomate" state...it would have sparred her lots of my missteps and preserves some lost dignity. Plus, the shock factor would have been excellent.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
