Figured I want to write this out so I don't forget it.

Got the papers Friday and spent a rough weekend just trying to get myself accustomed to being divorced.

Monday was a bit rough at work as first day back at work and work is sometimes difficult.

Monday night Breeze had a horrible night I was up and down with her several times, so not much sleep.

Tuesday morning have e-mail from CHL that he is meeting realtor at 11:30 to go through and get estimate on what needs fixed on the house and what it is worth.

Needless to say after my crying thinking weekend the house was a wreck, no cleaning over the weekend.

Already being pretty emotional from papers, no sleep and PMS I totally flipped out big time!

E-mailed CHL several times, left several vm's. None too nice. I don't agree with the way he handled the realtor sitch but I sure as heck don't agree with how I handled it!

Called my A and she called me back and said as long as I am in residence he can't run in and out. If I want until I move I can change the locks. I didn't want to go that route, did that once. Not where I wanted to be. I wanted CHL to talk to be about what was going on! So being unable to reach him I did typical Pam crazymaking. At least typical old Pam. She hasn't been that way in a while now. She ISN'T going to be that way again as she HATES it afterwards!!!

I called the realtor as it is the same one I am buying my house with and let her know I did not want her in the house today. She said she would just look around outside then.

Called my boss and let him know I wouldn't be in unless later in the day.

Somewhere in that mess of phone calls I called the vet's office and they couldn't see Breeze. But I could come down and get some more medicine. So I loaded all the kids up and headed out for the half hour plus drive to the vet's office. Then took forever in there, getting all the stuff and scheduling an apt for Breeze for Friday.

Got home and CHL was there, standing in the driveway. I asked if he wasn't afraid to do that but he said no, should I be?

The realtor got there before we were able to talk any. I had calmed down on the drive to the vet's but being there and seeing him and hearing her talking with him about selling the house just upset me again.

SOOOOO I was very bad. My mother incarnate. I sniped at him and truly embarrassed us all in front of the realtor.

After she left I apologized as I realized what the heck I had done. Admitted I acted like a horse's A**.

I also e-mailed my realtor an apology.

He hung around and we talked for quit a while. Some of it nice, some of it emotional and some of it me still a bit angry. I hope by the time he left he felt we worked it through. I felt that we did.

He was very good, actually really I felt listened AND talked to me!!!!!

I felt good enough about it that I didn't have a problem with him being back at the house Wednesday to work on some stuff.

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"