Pam - I'm a little confused. Aren't you moving into your new house soon? Wasn't it your plan to get out of this house as soon as possible? So why shouldn't he be listing the house now?
I agree, it was rude of him not to tell you in advance - but that doesn't really change the underlying fact that it makes perfect sense to list the house now that you will be moving soon. And aren't you glad to know he won't be living there with creepy Janice?
Just get out of there and into your new place. You'll feel so much better once you do.
Hi Pam, just wanted you to know i'm checking in on you and thinking about you...lots of tough stuff for you to deal with right now, I'm so sorry about that. I have to say I believe Ellie is right on target about you feeling much better when you get moved out and into your new home. I would think it will really help you shift your focus to your "new life", although of course you will need time and plenty of it to mourn all you've been through. I havent followed D's threads and not too closely the details of your early days in your sitch, but he sounds like a real difficult number to me. I'm thinking of you, and I've always been SO IMPRESSED by your strength and wisdom, ever since I started posting on this BB. Deb
I just didn't want pushed out of this one and darn I got the papers this weekend, needless to say this house looks like crap at the moment as I didn't clean at all this weekend.
Going to try to get some cleaning done this afternoon as I missed the days work.
Went to the vets and got B some more medicine and then met D and realtor here.
She gave him a task list!!!!!!
You know all the stuff that needs taken care of at a house that has been let go for 5 or 6 years, he got a list that she suggests needs done before listing the house.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I haven't had to read posts like that from myself in a while now and I DON'T LIKE THEM!
I have apologized to CHL and he said he just didn't think when he called the realtor about how the house would be or the fact that I had just gotten the papers.
He did think I had known the D was final this last 3 weeks and he thought we were trying to rebuild a friendship. I said I was but I thought we were still married.
His parents have now met J, that is usually a big step as I didn't meet his parents for a long time.
I should write up yesterday but not this morning. As far as I am aware we left each other on a friendly note.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
To make today better, I am not going to beat myself up.
I behaved like my mother yesterday. When I was growing up that always horribly embarrassed me when she acted like that and I guess when I am really upset that is the pattern that is strongest for me.
BUT, I do recognize it. I did apologize, I can't change it so I am just resolving to remember it and work harder next time NOT to let it happen!
It is also a beautiful day outside.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Figured I want to write this out so I don't forget it.
Got the papers Friday and spent a rough weekend just trying to get myself accustomed to being divorced.
Monday was a bit rough at work as first day back at work and work is sometimes difficult.
Monday night Breeze had a horrible night I was up and down with her several times, so not much sleep.
Tuesday morning have e-mail from CHL that he is meeting realtor at 11:30 to go through and get estimate on what needs fixed on the house and what it is worth.
Needless to say after my crying thinking weekend the house was a wreck, no cleaning over the weekend.
Already being pretty emotional from papers, no sleep and PMS I totally flipped out big time!
E-mailed CHL several times, left several vm's. None too nice. I don't agree with the way he handled the realtor sitch but I sure as heck don't agree with how I handled it!
Called my A and she called me back and said as long as I am in residence he can't run in and out. If I want until I move I can change the locks. I didn't want to go that route, did that once. Not where I wanted to be. I wanted CHL to talk to be about what was going on! So being unable to reach him I did typical Pam crazymaking. At least typical old Pam. She hasn't been that way in a while now. She ISN'T going to be that way again as she HATES it afterwards!!!
I called the realtor as it is the same one I am buying my house with and let her know I did not want her in the house today. She said she would just look around outside then.
Called my boss and let him know I wouldn't be in unless later in the day.
Somewhere in that mess of phone calls I called the vet's office and they couldn't see Breeze. But I could come down and get some more medicine. So I loaded all the kids up and headed out for the half hour plus drive to the vet's office. Then took forever in there, getting all the stuff and scheduling an apt for Breeze for Friday.
Got home and CHL was there, standing in the driveway. I asked if he wasn't afraid to do that but he said no, should I be?
The realtor got there before we were able to talk any. I had calmed down on the drive to the vet's but being there and seeing him and hearing her talking with him about selling the house just upset me again.
SOOOOO I was very bad. My mother incarnate. I sniped at him and truly embarrassed us all in front of the realtor.
After she left I apologized as I realized what the heck I had done. Admitted I acted like a horse's A**.
I also e-mailed my realtor an apology.
He hung around and we talked for quit a while. Some of it nice, some of it emotional and some of it me still a bit angry. I hope by the time he left he felt we worked it through. I felt that we did.
He was very good, actually really I felt listened AND talked to me!!!!!
I felt good enough about it that I didn't have a problem with him being back at the house Wednesday to work on some stuff.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
"What can you do to make today a little bit better than yesterday?"