I don't suppose you have any good advice for totally getting my brain to thinking that way about David do you?
I can logically look at his behaviour and know that isn't the type of person I want to be with, but my emotions still care and miss him.
I am not sure how I change that, what I have been trying to do this weekend is really mourn him, looking at it like he died. I think it is going to be a rather slow process.
But I am determined to use the knowledge I have gained and I am not going to let this divorce do to me what the last one did.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Pam, I just got caught up on your thread, I didn't realize I was so far behind. I'm so sorry to hear of the papers, etc. It has to be such a shock after all you've been through. I admire you so very much, your courage and strength are an inspiration to me. Just want you to know I'm thinking of you, and I know you will come through this to find better things waiting just over the horizon.... Deb
Today was a bit rough. I did expect it to be as when I am sitting at work is when it is the hardest to not contact CHL. I had sent him several e-mails the night I got the papers and he actually answered some of them last night.
Not all, but 2 or 3 I think. I responded to some of them and he e-mailed me either once or twice today.
I still think we will probably finish up everything without anything getting ugly. I don't believe either one of us wants that to happen.
I still have a lot of respect and feelings for the person I married and I hope he still feels something nice about me.
Had to run my lights out to the house today as this weekend when I went to drop them off it was locked. Then got call this afternoon that downrods on ceiling fans weren't long enough so had to run to Home Depot and then back to the house again. No one was there and it was locked again.
Not sure I like my dinning room or garage fixtures after all.
Hopefully when I see it again I will like them better. I was just peeking in the window at the dinning room fixture.
Really feel tired tonight. Not too productive.
But also feel calmer. Read this whole thread again and it reminded me of where I am headed and the work I am doing on myself. I let the emotions sidetrack me this weekend and today.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Pam - Tomorrow is another day, and it can be a better one. There will always be surprises, but you are so much stronger now, and like moct of us, earned your stripes honestly. No one can take strength away from us, right?
Ick...nasty surprise this morning. David had scheduled with realtor to come in the house and look at it for selling today. No discussion ahead of time at all.
I need to check with my attorney and see what my legal rights are here.
He is apparently planning to be more hateful than I realized. Why I keep thinking he is the nice person I married I don't know. I guess I am slow.
Left some not too nice vm's for him this morning. Definitely the old Pam.
I think emotional overload trying to deal with getting the papers and B is seriously sick and now this mess, and bad cramps on top of it all.
I know it doesn't matter with him anymore but it is the fact that I want myself to be better. I reacted instead of waiting for clarity. Sucks.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
He apparently hasn't changed a bit in the past year of living with his sister and Janice.
This is the way he has handled every single thing with the divorce, besides the agreement he came over here and talked with me and worked out. Then he backed out of it after signing it and taking it to the attorneys. Of couse he changed it after we signed it.
Why, why do I keep trusting him?
Makes me mad at myself. I know he has cheated at least 3 times always with married women, he has broken up two long term marriages, he lies, he sneaks, he won't tell you anything he is going to do, just stabs you in the back whenever he gets a chance.
If you met him it doesn't show that he is that type of person it really doesn't.
Most of my friends were totally shocked to find out he was having an affair.
I don't think in the beginning even his family believed he was having an affair. I would assume by now they know differently.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Now I'm debating trying to get an appointment with a family law specialist attorney. Take the divorce papers in and ask what my rights are regarding this house.
This seems so petty, when we could have settled it peacefully. Why does he want to be ugly? Because Janice is pushing him?
Long night not much sleep as B is struggling to breath and I am planning to try to get her into the vet today.
Then I find out this stuff on the house.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I know he has cheated at least 3 times always with married women, he has broken up two long term marriages, he lies, he sneaks, he won't tell you anything he is going to do, just stabs you in the back whenever he gets a chance.