Yes, I plan not to talk to him. I can't deal with ever seeing Janice again if I can help it.
I just feel so stupid. I mean he has known all of the time and we have had silly conversations. But that is why I'm sure that he was no longer on my AIM and I always called him, well once in a while he would call me back.
I don't think he still cares. I think it was his darn conflict avoidance. He wasn't going to tell me it was final but just go along like nothing had changed, which is what he did through the whole divorce process.
He knew once it was final I wouldn't bother him again because I told him I would walk out of his life. He doesn't even know where to find us when we leave in 2 weeks.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: I thought about him a lot and he really maybe does have problems or is just not the kind of person I always sort of saw him as being. I mean he has had 3 affairs with married women and been involved in the breakup of two long term marriages. What sort of person does that, and when the going gets tough runs to another affair? IS that a person I would want in my life? If I look at him like that and see his actions that isn't a person I want in my life.
PAM! Is that a lightbulb I see going on over your head?
You deserve so much better! You are capable of so much more! I guarantee you, five years from now you are going to be so happy and fulfilled, and you are going to look back and wonder how you ever let this relationship drag you down.
Ellie
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
David might not have realized that you didn't know. And you could have said that you were going to walk out of his life, but perhaps he thought you'd changed your mind.
I agree with Ellie - you deserve better. If you don't want to talk to David, that is certainly your right to do so. And it will probably be easier on you emotionally right now.
Just don't assume too much, okay? There were things I've assumed in the past that weren't the case.
Trying to work on no ASSuming. Not the easiest thing for me.
But bringing the dogs in a few minutes ago I realized they probably had their celebration last month. I quickly stopped myself as dwelling on them and what they are doing now is not going to help me move forward.
Talking to G this morning I told him I still felt David was looking for his happiness from outside. He said and he thinks he's found it now! Boy, is he in for a shock.
I read back through some threads and about the time D started talking to me again and seeming friendly was after the divorce was final.
Could do lots of assuming about that but trying not too.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Went through more junk mail and stuff. Threw stuff away.
Saw in club newsletter that the slut now has an e-mail address with msn which is who David uses. She has always refused to have a computer at home before so we know where that came from.
I know drop the rope. You know if he had just left it would be a bit better than seeing my ex friend with him.
Right now the hurt is being replaced with the anger. Guess it will work it's way through as well.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Feel pretty out of it today. But think that is the after effects of the Tylenol PM. Thankfully I did sleep.
Got some nice e-mails from friends. Posting this one from one of G's friends as it is pretty neat.
Then there is no more worries about it. You will do fine. Take a look at yourself. I think even you have to be proud of yourself because you are moving on. I know we are proud of you.
It's all done and can't be changed. We all go through the tough times so that we can enjoy the good times. If everything was always good it would be normal and not enjoyable. Only when the bad times hit can we enjoy our good times.
Now you are ready to have the good times. Just think of the new people you have already met that are now your friends that you never would have met before. You have some good friends and we are all here for you anytime. I hope you know that.
So now brush it off, and get on with the New and Improved Pam with no by products We are getting together today at the pool and house. If you would like to stop by please do so. I think you need to get out and have some fun today. I am at work now however I will be home by 4PM and people are welcome from then on. Call me if you need directions.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
So sorry to here about the final papers. I can only imagine the pain and shock they could bring. Hang in there, remember Ellie's words and all the other advice you are getting. When you hit a low spot, just think what advice you would give someone on the BB in the same situation? You have all the knowledge and guts to soar through this with you head held high.
Thank you very much. It really helps to hear from my friends right now.
Which I am going to remember, lots of times when I don't know what to say, I say nothing. I think from now on that will change. Hearing from friends has helped so much, not that there is really anything anyone can say, but knowing they care is I think what helps.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Thinking of you. Hope you went to the pool with the email friend. Sounds like you have a new life starting even now...
And just think, pretty soon you will turn the key on your new home and your new life. I am very excited for you.
Your observations of late have been right on. You don't want to be with someone who has broken up marriages and had multiple affairs. You want to be with someone who will love and support you and your dreams. That time will come, just live life and good things will happen.
Hope your packing continues to go well. ARe you decluttering as you go? Don't move it unless you will use it - how is that for some advice? I haven't moved often, but almost wish I had that excuse to go through everything. Instead I will tackle it one room at a time.
You are doing great Pam!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
He wasn't going to tell me it was final but just go along like nothing had changed, which is what he did through the whole divorce process.
Not the easiest thing for me.