Serene, Calm & Centered: Goals for Life

[psluke]

So this morning doing more thinking. Caught myself doing some negative thinking and it IS FINALLY getting easier to catch and stop the stuff. Especially if I catch it before it has time to wind my mood up.

"A coward dies a thousand deaths.

The brave die but once."

William Shakespeare

I have my shoulders, neck, back really hurting, and a bad problem with my right hand. I believe most of this is stress. The hand I am pretty sure is too much computer use.

I have this rope that I NEED to drop so that is the new goal. I start dreading in the afternoon going home to get the mail. Well, it isn't anything I can control or do anything about and it just keeps me stressing. I don't mean I don't expect to feel bad when they do come, just that I want to stop feeling bad waiting on them.

It isn't something I focus on all the time, more like something just sort of there beneath the surface.

I have been really enjoying the interactions CHL and I have had lately and I am excited about my new house, although I still hate to leave PK.

I am also cleaning and organizing which is a good feeling. So lots of positives for me. Plus I have plans for starting some new dog activities with the kids. Getting to know my new neighbors, working in my friends office more regularly.

So if I slip you guys will have to whack me!

[psluke]

Hi PIB,

What I am planning to start with is my Leslie Sanson (sp), Walk away the pounds tape.

I used to do it in the mornings so I know if I schedule my time right I can fit that in before work.

Then anything I fit in during the evenings is just extra!

[psluke]

I have been really enjoying the interactions CHL

Very interesting thing in my life. Previously the interactions that we have had would definitely not have satisfied me and I would have been wanting much more.

What we have is some phone conversations and some e-mail contact.

I haven't actually seen him for several weeks and that used to be a big problem for me. Now it isn't.

That really PLEASES me!!!

I do however think I am still going to have a difficult time when it is all finally over. I will miss the goof.

[Pamila]

Good morning Pam,

I see by your posts that you are up and about at 5 something in the morning. Are you getting enuf rest, sleeping ok?

I am also wondering why the papers haven't shown up yet. Weren't you expecting them like 2 weeks ago?

I am glad that you are at least communicating better with CHL. Once I figured out who he was (duh ) I went back and peeked at an old thread or two just to see what I could see. Some of your convo's back and forth were very uncomfortable to read. I could feel your pain and frustration. Bad communication sucks.

I am hoping that one day at a time you are beginning to heal. Be kind to yourself, girlfriend.

Pam

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

Fabulous!

Go YOU!!

Huge Hugs!

[sage]

Goodness, Ms. Pam,

This thread is already ROCKING with positiveness, a super attitude, learning, growth...um, have I told you lately that YOU RULE?

Gotta go back and read the articles/web stuff you posted.

Sage

[sage]

Pam -- Are you in touch with Cal?

A person in Newcomers has been reading Cal's threads and was wondering if she was around to offer some insights?

Here's the thread:

Cheryl M's thread

Sage

[psluke]

Good Morning Pam,

I am not sleeping real well right now but I do catch a nap usually on the weekends and sometimes I take Tylenol PM to get a better nights rest.

Little Breeze struggling to breath through all the junk is not something that is always easy to sleep through. This morning she was still asleep when I got up and the stuff I wiped was so thick no wonder she has a hard time breathing. I am worried about her.

I got the letter from my attorney July 13 or 14 stating she had mailed the papers to his A for their signatures. So I have pretty much been expecting them from a day or so after that to show up. Not that I am in a hurry. I would like to be able to get my Zoloft renewed and if I thought I had time I would get glasses. I really need new ones I can tell.

Those IM's I am ashamed of and hate that they are out there, but, I have also accepted that my friends here know I was emotional and hurting when those were sent. I really don't think he understood much of what I was trying to say in them. I also know I went about it all the wrong way.

I do think I am beginning to heal. I will still miss him a lot. But it isn't all as raw as it was and he isn't something I HAVE to have in my life as before I felt he was.

[psluke]

Thank you PIB!

[psluke]

Good Morning Sage,

Thank you for that, it makes me feel good that folks aren't having to come by and scrap me off of the basement floor!

I just like how I feel inside better. I do still get sad and depressed, but I keep working through it to get back to this better place. Not that it is always easy, I struggle with it, but it is WORTH IT!