Tony, dude, your letter almost made me cry. You have to figure out what her grudge is and you have to figure out a way to get her to go to the counselor with you.
Man, I can't believe she threw the letter away! That was basically a non-confrontational person's way of slapping you in the face. And I can empathize with you on the birthday thing. One thing a person deserves on their birthday -- AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK FOR -- is to make love to his/her spouse. I haven't had it on my birthday for YEARS.
Stick around here, pal, and we'll work through this together. She sounds cold to me, but if she loves you, she'll find a way to warm up.
