Tony, first of all, Happy Birthday! Feel good about yourself, even if your W doesn't. You have much to be proud of. You lost 60 lbs in a YEAR!! Holy sh!t, Batman, that's no small potatoes. What an accomplishment. I've lost about half that in the past 2 years.
Trust me when I say it can get better, but as you're no doubt becoming aware, you've got some heavy lifting ahead of you.
Quote: Both my wife and I are non-confrontational. We both tend to let things stew inside of us.
Big clue there.... if you explore that, you may find lots of "crucible" stuff to work on. Don't be TOO discouraged at this point at the way your W is acting. She's still assuming nothing has changed. When you change yourself, for real, she'll be in for a rude awakening, and she just MAY find out she does care after all. Don't forget, these patterns are deeply ingrained, and have been for a very long time, so it'll take some time to change things. Don't be too anxious.
Quote: Since then, she has told me that she needs to figure out how she can forgive me.
Okay, you're gonna have to fill in some blanks here... I rather doubt your entirely clueless about what you think she's stewing about. I'm not actually sure it even has anything to do with the sex situation, either. As you read more of PM, I think you'll see what I mean.
You've shown a remarkable amount of progress in a very short time. Believe me, I KNOW your motivation... been there, done that. It CAN get better. No promises, but it can.
Quote: How can I get over someone who sleeps in the same bed?
Well, for the moment, let's assume you don't want to get over her, you want things to improve. We'll work on that basis. I do think that, when all is said and done, and you've worked through all the PM and SSM stuff, and you've made really meaningful changes in yourself, and she STILL doesn't step up to the plate, then I think that question will have answered itself...
