I'm afraid I'm not going to be of much help, I'm fairly new here too, and my copies of SSM and PM are only in the mail (yes, they are in the mail !)
But I wanted you to know you're not alone, our stories sound very similar - in reverse. Our LM started going way down a couple years before we married - when we moved in together. We had 2 wedding nights (married in US 'blessed' in his country) on the second night - he brought computer magazines to read in bed.
While I was pregnant with D8, things stopped, in spite of my asking for more, only started again to conceive D6 (which didn't take much), since then, we've ML once (and I have 4 yr old twin boys to prove it!)
I guess it was taking care of the kids that kept me going, and though I lost the 'baby fat' pretty well, I've since put it back on, I guess food's become my substitute :-) (gotta work on that too - though I do carry my weight well, doesn't stop me from getting looks!).
I will say that in the couple weeks I've been here, just focusing more on me, and how I react has meant that H and I are able to talk more, though we haven't had 'the' talk yet...I too recently wrote H a heartfelt letter, he didn't throw it away, but he hasn't commented, either.
Good luck, hope I can be of more help as I figure out my own sitch!
