Actually...yes, I can relate. I've really had to learn to speak up...it's one of my downfalls too. It's no fun dealing with a problem like this as a formerly very shy person. My LDH has no idea what it's like for me to screw up my courage to discuss sex with him...much less be the only one initiating it...and then be shut down flat, rejected...or worse yet...ignored. I completely understand...unfortunately. However...you are going to have to learn to speak up with her as uncomfortable as it is...don't just rely on actions. I think you'll find that the more you do it, the less uncomfortable it will become with time (I have a feeling your counselor may have already told you this :-) ). One of the mistakes I've historically made with my H is to assume he will understand my intention when I "show" him I love him or want him...I could literally hear the "whoosh" as he completely missed the meaning behind my actions...and I thought I was being obvious. It's not that he's completely clueless or anything like that (he's actually quite intelligent), we just simply communicate very differently. Anyway...I'm glad to hear you are in counseling, I am too...it really helps me to have that outlet paired up with these message boards.
