Slow and Steady

[NotATLDave]

I got a call from my C today that I need to share here because it deals with insurance, eap, etc.

As you may remember, my new C is outside of my insurance network and I would only be reimbursed a percentage of the bill. She called because my insurance company sent her a 5 page form to fill out so she could receive her reimbursement. She was probably calling because she didn't want to waste her time with the paperwork but in the end, she convinced me to forgo any insurance reimbursement. By the time we finished discussing this, I was happy with my decision and the good news is that she is going to give me a discount. I'm still hating the idea of spending this much money.

So, I thought I was going to be reimbursed 70% of her $120 /hr bill. No, no, no. She and I got letters from the insurance company and it said that they reimburse based upon a customary fee of (don't laugh...) $70 / hr. which comes out to me receiving $50 from the insurance company. So now we are at $70 / session. But she gave me some other things to think about....

While a prospective employer may not be able to access your medical records, they are free to ask if you have ever been treated for a mental disorder. Lying about that can be grounds for dismissal at a later date if they eventually discover this fact. I'm not too worried about this because I'm fairly confident that my employer would never be affected negatively by my mental problems...hell, they've been taking advantage of my mental problems for years...it's what makes me do so well at work. If you are looking for an employee, I think it's a great idea to find someone who is highly other-validated, and has a problem with hyper-focusing...a killer combo.

Secondly, the insurance company requires a diagnosis. They keep these records confidential but there is always a possibility that they will merge with another company who might not have the same privacy policies. I'm not sure but I think life insurance companies can inquire about this.

This C said that she anyone who walks in her door can be diagnosed with something...typically it's an Adjustment Disorder. I don't feel like counseling is as taboo as some might but paying a counselor cash, is a pretty sure-fire way to keep things truly confidential.

Last week, I was given the name of a counselor that was provided by my EAP for 8 free sessions. I shared this name with my new C and she said that this person is great and that I'm lucky to have her in my plan. The problem is that I don't want to switch. My heart is telling me that this new one is really good. My W likes her and she has a way creating a "no b.s." atmosphere. We've got a few sessions into it and I'm don't want to force my W to go through the "history" with another one. I'm really struggling with this decision. The cost is going to kill me. I wanted to save up for a trip to Disney...forget it. I still might switch.

Anyway, my new C offered to reduce her rate. If the insurance company thinks that the other C can fix a marriage in 8 sessions, then maybe this one can give us value within 8-10 sessions. The way I have to think of it is this...how much would 1 month rent in an apartment be if we separated? How much would a divorce attorney be? How much of my 401k, home equity, etc. would I lose? How much would it cost for child support? What would it cost for a Porsche? (just kidding). If my goal is to put a protective skin on our marriage, and it works, then it will be well worth it. If it doesn't then, I can mentally toss this expense onto the heap of other expenses and it will look tiny by comparison.

Anyway, I'm meeting her tomorrow and I will see if my impression remains as good. It might be like buying a health club membership. Where the motivation to work on things comes from the fact that you don't want to waste all that money. Maybe this is a therapeutic ploy on her part to ensure success.