That's a great characterization and you clarified what it was that I wanted to work on. All along this thread, I was talking about trying to learn to maintain an EC w/o sex, but in reality...it about my fear of rejection. This is weird because I knew I needed to get her off the schedule and off the hook but I wasn't exactly certain why I felt I needed to do it. Your post really clarified it. Hmmm. I'm wondering if I should just find a good therapist in my network for me and focus on this one issue. Sure I've been guilty of other-validation before along with some anxiety and maybe some anger issues, but I think the fear of rejection thing is huge. I need to think about this for a while.
I *did* empathize with what I was saying to her and could relate to how she felt. It took a while to replay my tired rantings but I see things from her perspective. I truly wasn't trying to manipulate anything and my suggestion that 3x...well, ok, maybe, yes...you are right. I tried to put a system in place to protect me. Geez. This is scary. My god...how long will it take to fix an issue like this? This could be some deep, old thing. Maybe even going back to the fact that I was adopted at birth. Oh brother.
Thanks Corri.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
