Things have calmed down tremendously. We watched a movie together and stayed up late. It's too soon to try to be physical after last night. Apparently, I did a pretty bad number on her and she was feeling sad all day. It's one thing to HOM and be calm and loving when talking...but it doesn't take the sting out if what you are saying hurts. She really misinterpreted the convo last night and I explained it again. What's funny about her "you don't love me" statement was that the last 6 months have had a series of "ignitions" which, if averaged, would make this a more loving year than the past 10 combined.
Also, this afternoon, I made an appointment with a new C for monday. She got very excited when I mentioned I was a Schnarch-head. She said that he is her favorite. But my last C said the same thing. I want to see her to make sure that I haven't done a number on myself with the way I'm thinking about things. My ideas have been fueled by past success but I'm getting into unfamiliar territory now. My anxiety over initiating is way too extreme right now. I shouldn't be feeling this way.
Unfortunately, this C is out of network and it's going to cost me some serious cash. I don't know how long I will be able to go to her before I would need to switch to someone on my plan. When talking with her, I referred to some incorrect info on her website and she expressed her disappointment with her webmaster. Maybe I can barter services with her. First I need to see if I actually like her. This will be interesting. W agreed to go with me but is not happy about having to rehash everything again.
Things are good. She gave some great kisses tonight and I could feel myself breaking it off first. I'll give an update later.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
