Tonight was weird. My W, in the middle of a show, turned the volume down and asked "how was your day". This was a first. It proves that she IS listening to me in previous convos. It also means she willing to try to to keep my EC up. This also included her rubbing my back etc. It was way to late to attempt any "play" and considering her response earlier today, I just didn't feel like trying to start anything.
When I tucked her into bed, she said "you seem sleepy" me: "no..i'm actually kind of wired up". w: "are you sure you're ok...you seem agitated". m: "no..seriously...I'm fine..godnight ILY". So she knows I'm acting funny. I really have no idea what I'm doing right now. I no interest in being physical with her. If she tried to seduce me, then it would be a completely different story. Wait...I know exactly what I'm doing! I'm working on desire. Ok...I get it.
So I guess the exercise is to get myself in a happy frame of mind despite a missing EC. This is what I would do if I were single. The trouble with this exercise is that "pretending to be single" makes it hard acknowledge the existence of your spouse because you are fighting the natural, habitual pull towards them.
Oh man...I'm confused. I don't want to go back to a schedule but I don't want to lose the EC and/or stop working on this issue.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
