Don't feel too bad. I'm going to share something with you (and the rest of the folks) that will make everyone cringe. It makes me sick to think about this but it also serves as a reminder of where I came from because I started making personal changes 2 years ago after this incident.
The day I bought my D6 her first little bike when she was 4, I made a big deal about taking her to a paved trail by the river. But to get to the scenic area, she would have to ride about 200 yards on smooth, flat surface...easy right? 25 yards in, she stopped and said she didn't want do it anymore. I freaked but kept calm. I was so disappointed, that I took her back to the car and didn't speak to her on the drive home. She could tell I was tense but I did everything in my power to not get angry with her for not trying. When I walked in the door, and she was out of earshot, I blasted my W for her contribution to my daughter's "I don't want to try" gene and summarily made examples of my W's lazy relatives. I've only said really nasty things like this to my W 2 other times in our entire marriage. These were the closest thing to fighting we've ever engaged in throughout our entire R. And ironically they got to the heart (with a shotgun blast) of the issues that I'm dealing with today but in a horrible form. When I read this now, I see a spouse who was probably terrified of the time bomb in her husband's head. This is why we never had fights or arguments...I was scared of my inability to handle hard subjects and she was too. Again, this relates some to my new effort of not being a "cop". I want my W to feel like I'm a mature partner who can take the high road and discuss issues. I want to show her how calm yet assertive I can be. The schedule was a way for me to avoid "confrontation" and I hated the idea of her "cowering" in fear a couple times a week. i.e. I'm repairing the past in the present.
That confrontation led me to see how parents can get so wrapped up in their kids..."fused". It's the old hockey-dad thing where the dad is living vicariously through his kids...trying to repair their own failures through their kid's successes. I immediately stopped making a big deal about biking and never encouraged her to ride again. But I did do something that I will share with you....
(Attention folks...Regardless of how bad your sex life is, how fused you are, how confusing Schnarch is, the following advice WILL work in ALL cases. It's a secret amongst a small community of my friends but today, this knowledge will be yours.....)
HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO RIDE A TWO WHEELER
1. Put them on a bike that allows their feet to rest comfortably on the ground. I.E. drop the seat as low as it can go. If it's still too tall, get a smaller bike. When my D6 was 4, she started on a 12" until a few months ago when we moved up to a 16".
2. Make sure they get good amount of riding with training wheels so they know how to brake, pedal, etc.
3. Shhhh....here's the secret. Remove the training wheels AND the pedals and leave it in a spot where he/she can get it out without help from an adult.
4. Pour yourself a glass of lemonade, turn on the game and keep one eye out the window (in case they hurt themselves..which they probably won't).
They will sit on the seat, push with their feet like a scooter and learn to balance and turn. They will progressively go further without putting their feet down.
5. When you see them cruising more than 10 feet w/o dabbing, then ask them if they would like the pedals.
My daughter actually came into the house and said "daddy, can you put the pedals back on my bike?". I did and she started pedaling around the driveway. No wrecks, no tears, and no guilt for you...heck...no work for you! Sure, you might miss out on the bonding that occurs when you send your kid careening uncontrollably down a hill, but heck, you can use that time to bond with your W instead because.
6. Get the camcorder out.
7. Stay close by when they start riding with pedals. They will have a tendency to use their feet as brakes and yes, there will be a wreck because of that. I didn't let my D6 learn to brake well before this and until a few weeks ago, she was terrified of going downhill.
