Here is what I see as potential pitfalls for your new plans. Your current 2x a week is obviously giving your wife a two choice dilemma. Either she has sex with you twice a week or she has to tolerate your crabbiness.
Quote: Variation 1. M: "I'll initiate and you can either engage me or reject in the way I described where you humbly acknowledge my request and commit to another time."
...or what? She will have to tolerate you being crabby for another reason? What is her second choice?
Quote: Variation 2. M: "I'll just chill and give you space for a while. See how things go. I would love to see what your natural frequency is."
Is this true? Would you love to see that her "natural" frequency is once a month? There has got to be a hidden "but" clause, such as "but if your natural frequency is less than desirable we'll have to come up with a new plan or I will get crabby.".
I don't think your problem is mainly due to the first half of the two choice dilemma you are presenting to your wife which is "I want you to have sex with me with a good attitude 2x a week.". I think your problem is mainly due to the second choice you're presenting which is "or you'll have to deal with me being crabby." You need to come up with a better second choice. IMO FWIW.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
