Hey NOP, that was really a great way to put it. It's one of the few posts that I would consider sharing with her. The other night during our convo, I used the example in terms of an employee. But a child is a much easier example.

Quote:


I am glad my wife has a heart for the game. I believe that yours does as well.




I know she has a heart for staying on the team but I just haven't gotten the sense that she's doing anything other than showing up for practice.

The other night, she admitted that she rarely gets *those* feelings until we get started and that there hasn't been a long enough break between sessions lately for her to come to me with those feelings. I've considered suspending my efforts and letting her know that the next time we ML should be according to her "feelings". I wonder if we have been in this process long enough for me to let go of the "process" for a while. Or would she simply fall into her comfort zone and require me, in 3-4 weeks to start over again? I mean, I think she has heard my desires, my needs, etc. Maybe I should just shut up now and see what happens. Maybe she is like my D6 who did much better on her bike when I wasn't watching. My W said that our frequency is much more than she "feels" that she needs but when I asked what her frequency was, she couldn't answer.

Does anyone think this would be a good approach?
Fire metaphor....It's sort of like looking at a budding flame and after stoking it, stepping back to watch and see if it slowly grows. But as we all have experienced, when the flame goes out, it takes another match (extra effort) to re-ignite it. But then again, the first burn has dried the wood and made it more easy to ignite.

It would be so awesome to leave her alone and see her initiate on her own with motivation other than convo-avoidance. Then see her try to increase the frequency on her own.

I don't know. Instead of cursing the log that won't ignite, maybe I should just walk away from it for a while (not meaning leave...just stop pressuring her).

Any ideas about this?

Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright