Yep, Dave, I see your dilemma and that's why I suggested she initiate by saying "What about ML tonight?"
Anything else would violate HER integrity and she would be play acting. NOT that there's anything wrong with that!
But if that is not where she's at, at the moment, then she is violating herself and she won't do it for very long before she says Screw this.
But she can think of a way to phrase it, along with watching her sarcastic tone of voice, so that she is initiating and you are accepting and you are both happy. Not thrilled.....it won't be the sexiest thing you've ever experienced but it will be good and will foster the EC.
Regarding the sexy stuff...I feel I should warn you that my H loves to talk sexy while we are having sex about all the things he will do to me, eventually. This day has never come. He simply cannot break out of his shell and do what he wants to do. Even simple things like check underneath a skirt to see if I have panties on, for example. Not things that require him to swing from the ceiling and let out his best Tarzan holler. HE brings up these scenarios that he wants to do, he has even gone so far as to set a date, and then he stands me up. It is as if there is an internal censor inside him that will not allow him to act the way he really wants to.
At any rate, I have accepted that his talk is just that--talk. Now when he starts saying, No really I'm going to do it!! I just say, Oh that would be nice if you do..... And leave it at that. I know full well he will never do it and that knowledge has come the hard way.
The reason I am telling you this is because this might be the case with your wife and the ear whispers. In a conversation she might say, Yeah yeah! I could do that! But IRL she may never get to that point. Who knows....I can't remember how adventurous your wife is, so this advice might be worthless.
In the meantime, though, I would start small with your suggestions to her and have it be something that she would feel very comfortable saying and could actually manage it without the sarcasm safety net. Then she can work up from there!
