Slow and Steady

[MJontheMend]

I once jokingly told my W that I would let her know when I decide to have an affair and that it won't be a surprise. I really feel compelled to actually say it sometime..."hey, I think I'm going to go out and try to get some sex tonight...I'll be at xxxx bar". Let her decide if she wants to meet me there.

Double dog dare you. Just kidding.

I think you and I have somehow PM'd ourselves into a corner for the moment. I don't know if I would advise you to make such a bold move, but I would selfishly like to see you do it just so chicken-hearted me could avoid being the first one on the board to make such a super-scary move. Really, I guess what you need to ask yourself is whar is your preferred outcome to this scenario? Would it really be a two-choice dilemma for your W, or would it be a step further away from the relationship for you?

I know you are right about all your rules for peaceful conversation, but I am just ornery. How would these rules apply to the constant conversations I'm having with my H in which he is telling me how stressed out he is about something and is looking to me for emotional support. I find it very hard not to break rules #1,2 and 6 in the course of these conversations. Should I just keep saying "Wow, that sucks" over and over again? I am tempted to offer my H solutions to his stress problems because his stress has now become the last barrier to a passionate marriage. I know this is the wrong thing to do according to PM, but I would feel bad if I didn't offer him emotional support in some way.