Last Fri. we ML briefly at my request. W's response was reasonably unenthusiastic but willing, so what the heck. I spent about 15 minutes but stopped because I really didn't need anymore and she definitely didn't care for more (I asked). It brought some good ec feelings, so it was fine. When I stopped, I went ahead and continued to take care of business myself (somewhat intentionally). W rolled over and asked "um...I didn't think you wanted to do *it*". Me: "I just wanted to be with you for a bit..any more than that would be me using you to 'get off' and I'm not going to do that". W: pleasantly "hmmm...interesting". M: "...but if you ever are just horney, let me know so I can f*ck your brains out". W: laugh "I'll let you know". We played a little more. She told me the "scenario" again...the one where she seduces me when I'm not ready for it. She claims it will be when I'm on a conference call at work and not "ready" and it will be "all about her". I've got to give her credit for at least trying to be creative and bringing the verbal eroticism to the bed when she isn't in the mood. This was almost more ec building than ML. I would like to say it a was a "great" time, but it took too much initiation on my part. Haven't felt real connected this weekend. Tonight was weird. Felt distant but she wanted her usual goodnight kiss.
So I'm hanging out watching TV while she goes to bed. And this freaky movie "Dinner with Friends" is on and crap...it sound's just like this board. We could start a thread on this movie. I'll report back when it's over.
In general, I'm feeling tired of dealing. This is the 4th episode of "tiredness" and it feels like a natural part of the process...I'm now comfortable with this process and am no longer surprised by a lull. I can tell that by tomorrow night, I'll be feisty but I'll just take it easy. Wednesday is is my W's birthday...maybe she'll want a b-day romp (ha!). But seriously. For V day and mothers day this year, I was so excited to do nice stuff for my W. Right now, I'm having a really hard time enjoying the idea of doing something nice for her birthday without it feeling like obligation. Maybe this is how she feels about me? If so, I wish she would be as candid as I have been about her needs...or maybe she's got some magic "love" gene that requires her to need a whole lot less than me. Oh well, I'm wasting too much time worry about what is going on in her head.
Ok, this movie just ended and I just realized that I'd rather screw Dennis Quaid than Andie McDowell. Sorry folks. I'm just getting wacky.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
