No email at all from H today, which is quite disappointing because I really enjoy getting them. Besides the fact that I always feel that he's carrying on a hot/heavy email convo. w/OW....which has been true in the past.
I guess I'll just let it go and let him set, though.....
I have a feeling that "somethings up", based on his moods the last few days his sleepless night on Tuesday, notes jotted on the back of the envelop now carried with him....and what the notes said.....
Frankly I cant help but think they are his notes on reasons why one R is over, and maybe how to tell one of us that....I hope it's the OW, want to believe based on his horniness last weekend and his "you had this won" statement on vacation that that's it. but then he's irritable about the messy kitchen, the dogs, everything last night/this morning....which makes me worry that he's ready to leave...but still he said "fine" when I told him about the appt. at the bank tomorrow and what the game plan was.
I don't know what to think......maybe he's irritable because he's afraid that he's giving up his "shot at happiness" and his life still isn't perfect (duh, imagine that!)
Today at lunch, I scrapped together the last few dollars I have to get a salad and a frozen pizza for the guys to have at home while I work late tonight, and an interesting thought occured to me. Ususally a couple times a week, H makes a big deal that he's gotta have gasoline and needs to cahse a check to buy it....well, since the proverbial S--t hit the proverbial fan a week ago w/finances, I have not heard one single word about this....said last night he was going to have to get some soon as he's driving on fumes....well, hmmmm, then his notation that "life partner must exhibit reciprocity" jumped into my mind....I wonder if he didn't ask her for some gas money/etc., and she blew a gasket....I'm pretty sure he's been buying gas and groceries for her for quite some time....hmmmmmm...so maybe this is an opportunity for H to experience the OW in all her glory....
Could be, I have no way to know for sure except I'm positive that "somethings up"....of course I've prayed for God to take care of this sitch, and promised to get out of the way, and I do believe that God works in mysterious ways...maybe this is one of those.
then again, maybe this is the demented rambling of someone who is sleep deprived and anxious. Nah, couldnt be that, could it?
