ohhhhhhhhh, wow! yes! that would have been perfect for one of his shacking up weekends!!!!!! or do they still make laxative gum? OK, now we're talking!!!!!
OR, I could leave some kind of a treat in OW's mailbox here at work!
hmmmmm.opportunities may still arise (alas) but perhaps I can use it as a training aid/deterent....One or both of them gets sick whenever they're together. whattaya think?
had another email from H that receptionist in out of town office gave her 2week notice.....that will not help his mood any....
but still, I kinda think being HORNY and flirting is a good sign....and talking about future plans.....maybe being grumpy after he's been on the phone with her in the morning is a good sign.
Hi Pam....You didn't miss much with the lotion story....I just found a bottle of it this weekend in the garage, I think from the downstairs bath, and became suspicious because of his comment saturday about needing to use lotion to get his ring on....could be perfectly innocent (hah, yeah, like anything is in this mess) but it also occured to me that he could be taking his ring (I know, more than enough already) on and off depending on whether he's around OW or me by using it, and so he just happens to have it in a handy location......Obviously, I'm not only devious, I'm suspicious as all get out!!!!!
You are right, there is not much in our messes that is as innocent as it seems.
Quite a "coincidence" that he has lotion in the garage. I am sorry that I gave you heck about the ring that one day. I was probably just feeling jealous that your H was even wearing his ring. I am also envious of all that that you are getting. You go girl
I am anxiously awaiting the day that our marital relations improve in that dept. Prob won't happen until H moves back. There is someone on the board that isn't getting any nookie from her H, even though they are no longer sep, but I can't remember who it is.
Hey Pam! no need to apologize about the "ring comments" ....frankly I know you were right, I can grasp on to the tiniest straws and become obsessed with them.... I found it suspicious not just that "Mr. Slick" has lotion in the garage....but that it happens to be the "cherry almond" scented stuff from the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my suspicions are accurate....damn, being right all the time can be real hell! I will post about that in a minute....I'm going to need some help deciding what to do next....
All you need to do is just doing more of whatever it is that is drawing H slowly, and it really is slowly isn't it? back to you.
I have seen you make the comment a few times regarding is this something that H would be doing if he was planning to leave? Well, he isn't planning to leave I would bet $ on it, and I am not a betting woman. This OW thing is just dragging on way longer than we would like for it to.
I was thinking last night about your $ woes and I was wondering if the cost of H's affair is directly or indirectly related to that.
Think about what he may have spent on gas, cell phone bills, calling cards, not to mention OW related gifts, dinners etc.
Think about what you may have spent on fancy lingerie, highlights for your hair, new clothes, etc.
It would be oh so easy for all of that little stuff to add up to an extra $400 a month, which is nearly $5000 for a year out of your budget.
I am sure that D's wedding prob played a part in all that too.
in chronological order, H was grumpy/distant yesterday morning, kind of that way but not as much (SIL was at our house, so hard to tell) yesterday evening, complained of being tired and his back being sore still, then when I was almost asleep, H initiated ML....ok, this is 5 times since Friday afternoon...I'm not complaining, it's just very unusual. Maybe its some kind of a test....anyway, he made comments last night that "maybe we should do this 2 or three times a day" and "this is what I've wanted for years" ( heard that one on Saturday, also) and "I've tried to convince you for years"....another comment was "I think your naughtiness triggered my naughtiness response"...It was good, and he was enthusiastic, it wasnt a "going thru the motions because she wants to" kind of deal. What would bring on this interest? Is it some sort of test?
Then this morning we had all-staff meeting, the hated thing....H was complaining about it all yesterday...how he wanted to skip it....on and on and on...So this morning I got there before H and was actually back behind the sign-in desk when he came in to sign in....OW wasnt there yet...H avoided eye contact, and I couldnt help but notice that he kept his left hand down out of sight as he signed in, and turned carefully so I couldnt see it when he walked away, and was nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs (or a w---e in church, however you want to say it....)I sat at a table behind him and to his left, and noticed he was nervous through the entire meeting....and kept his hand out of sight....So, I was right, THE SLICK ONE does take off his wedding ring when she might be around, and he does put it on at opportune moments. the s--t head. I sat by a co-worker (male) who is in an office 2 doors from H, and he asked if we did our usual vacation trip this year, and when that was, which I thought was an interesting question. Made sure I chuckled and joked and laughed with him, though. I also saw OW go to get coffee once, and she looked pissy and grumpy....not at all happy.... Today of all days I put a card in H's lunch, that says how special he is and how much he means to me.....I did go over to the other building and notice that H is not in his office....don't know where he is, there isnt much place anymore for him to hide out w/OW...
Ok, so now what do i do (besides go home and sabotage his damn bottle of lotion, that is)HOW DO I HANDLE THIS???????....just ignore it? i was really irritated and had a notion to confront him but I've decided that is useless, he will just get angry and defensive and it gives him justification for what he does/how he feels. I've thought about laughing and saying something to the effect of I love you even if you don't wear your ring around.... I thought of saying matter of factly, "I love you and always will, but I am very certain that I will not be able to live the rest of my life this way".....or just ignore it, act "as if" everything is cool, and keep on doing what seems to work to draw him back to me.... or of course go over and choke them both!!!!
I'm always happy when she looks pissed though, and she did this morning, actually its been a long time since I've seen her look "happy".....I know she was giving him ultimatums just before we went on vacation....I don't know that there is any reason she would have stopped....
that you are getting. You go girl 
