This was such a weird weekend, challenging in many ways, good in others...I am at a loss as to what to make of some of the things that happened, so I guess I'll try to just jot them down and if anyone has any insight, I'd sure appreciate hearing it. I don't think I posted that thursday AM before work when we were out feeding critters, I got something in my eye, and pulled up the hem of my t-shirt to wipe it....I didn't have on a bra, and H said "what are you doing, flashing boobs?" which I hadnt intended to do....I said, "o, sorry, I have something in my eye", put down the hem and used the neck to wipe my eye....later it hit me that he'd been watching, or he wouldnt have noticed... Thursday nite when I got home late, H was weird, red faced, said he didnt feel well....Friday am when I went to work, I was almost late because we poked around chatting...I got home about lunch time, to find we had another darn OD notice, which flatly means we are out of money at the moment...I'd been trying to figure out the bank account before, and spent most of the weekend working on it, about to get to the bottom of it, and I have to call the banker with a "game plan" the first of the week...today or tomorrow....anyway, I figured H would go ballistic, he didn't, just said he couldnt figure this out...to which I agreed. After lunch, S went to a friends to play, and about 1:30 H said "do you want to take a nap, it's a good stress reliever"...I said sure, thinking nap/sleep....well, that wasnt what was on H's mind at all....then we did nap for 1/2 hour, then H said "I need to get going"....got up, put on his undies, turned around, took them off again and got back in bed and again....we spent until 4:30! and it was great, I have to say...then when we got in bed, I was almost asleep, and H reaches for me and.....said he'd been watching me while we were watching tv and thinking he knew what was under that tshirt and....so we ml again, which means he initiated 3 times in one day. Sometime during the day, he told me he was going to do his "paperwork" in the morning so he could be home in the afternoon and we could go to church, etc.....he wasnt going to waste time walking (??????!!!????WTF??)in the morning. So he left about 8 Sat. Am, got home about 1 we had lunch, I think he walked on the treadmill and did a little yard work all the time I was doing the damnable bank stuff... H came in and sat down at the table with a drink, and said he was going to shower soon and dress for church...I told him I'd already showered and would just wear the top I had on and put on long pants and would be ready to go...H said, "Don't you think you should change your top?" I didn't know what he meant and said "what?!?" and he said "don't you think it's a little too revealing? I'd hate to see you get asked to leave church, that would be embarrassing"....now this is weird, I've seen much more revealing stuff, it was a cotton shirt with short sleeves and a scooped neck, which I didnt think was too low cut...not a halter or midriff top or anything....anyway, I said Ok, if you think so and changed into a ribbed t-shrit with a sleevless top that goes over it....went to church, which was nice, came home and kept working on financial mess, watched a little TV with H, went to bed early, about 9:30, and H commented that "your outfit was sexy today"...I asked if he'd meant the one he suggested I change, and he said "yes, but the t-shirt too" ....then he said he'd thought all morning about how great it was to ml WITH ME....and then he initiated again.... OK, so help me out here, this is 4 times in 2 days, from the guy who was insulted because I acted like all he thought about was sex, and it's not all about sex; the same guy who said I was going to make something that should be great into another chore and that he liked sex but not 24/7.....weird.....weird...maybe he's just horny, but he hasnt been THAT horny since we were newly weds....what gives here? Yesterday, We talked about going back to our vacation spot in the fall, and looked at the calendar and picked some tentative dates in late October....then later H said, "so are you thinking we won't be able to go with this finance mess?" I said, "I guess I'm turning into the eternal optimist any more, but I'm thinking we will have it figured out soon, and we will plan on going and find a way to do it" and H said something to the effect of he wanted to go and that he thinks "part of the problem is getting stuck in a rut and not having fun things to look forward to". He talked about needing to get work done on his old pickup truck, and replacing his lawnmower, etc. His lawnmower broke down again, the financial statement is still a confused mess, and H hurt his back lifting weights and it got worse from mowing....no nooky last night, darn it. but I did take the opportunity to "take care" of H by getting him a heating pad for his back, and positioning my rear-end against him at his request to hold it in place....he seemed happy enough when we went to sleep, and didnt toss and turn a lot at night... So, this morning, he brings my coffed, and seems to be very "irritable" beneath the surface, like he's trying to hold something back/in.....rushed and distant and kind of angry....I just ignore it and give him space, just give him a quick good morning kiss, tell him where his lunch is and that I love him, which he doesnt respond to, and go out the door for work....he comes to my office to get S to take him to SIL's house on his way to out-of town office, and still seems the same way....night and day difference from the entire weekend and the night before..... This is Exactly the same way he acted about vacation time, or just before, when he emailed me once that he was sorry for being grumpy, that he wasnt mad at ME but was angry at the choices he has to make now.....
Also over the weekend, on Friday, H had his ring off and left it off all afternoon and all night....I was determined not to say a word, but Sat. AM as he was leaving, I said "I like it when you wear your ring" in kind of a wistful, I'm sure, tone....and H said "I have it" and held up his hand with it half-way on....he said his finger was so swollen he had to get lotion to get it on. Then he said he takes it off for weights, etc., and said "you take yours off, I find it on the hook downstairs"...(I'd gone to help him work on the lawnmower and took it off and put it on the hook where car keys are kept) and I said yes, I did when we were doing mechanical stuff and when I use bleach because I didnt think he' want to buy another diamond"....but I thought it was interesting he even noticed....later that evening we were making sandwiches in the kitchen and I said "so you notice when I don't have my ring on?" and he just kept his eyes down on the counter and nodded his head yes, didn't say a word, but this all surprised me. Wish I'd kept my mouth shut Sat. AM, but I didn't say much, word wise just said I liked it when he wears it.... I did find a bottle of hand lotion in the garage, which is weird, made me wonder if he pulls his ring off sometimes when he's going places where a "certain person" might be...which is certainly a possiblity, but this morning when he came to get S at my office he had it on.... This is awful and childish and petty, but I moved the bottle of lotion and if it's moved from how I moved it, I have plans to sabotage it.....I can only be good and patient for so long....tehehehe....the sabotage wont cause any physical pain or harm.....so there's my immature streak coming out.....
So this morning, it's going on 11 am, and I've not heard a word from him. until last week he regularly emailed me around 9 am....I am still undecided whether I should email him or just wait. I do need to get something figured out finance wise, however....what would he do with out me?
I also find myself having lustful thoughts after a weekend of lots of good lovin' !
From reading the BB this morning., I see this was a weird, weird weekend for a lot of folks....must be the moon after the PMS part of the cycle?
^^^^^ I don't know if any guys read my thread anymore, but I'd sure be interested in a male point of view as to H's "urge surge" this past weekend end....
I'm not complaining, in fact I asked him what brought all this about, he said he didn't know (yeah, right) and I told him he would be in trouble if I ever figure it out because "behavior that's rewarded is repeated" LOL
Something else that's weird....the cage door is wide open, why doesnt he fly if that's what he wants?
I told him on vacation that I loved him enough to let him go .....he said that's exactly what OW said (the b---h!)...after we got home, I told him that I still wanted "us" more than anything, and still believed we could build a great M, but that I had meant what I said about letting him go....then I dropped it...and he hasnt done a darn thing....except maybe talk more about future plans "at home"....
I'm sure interested in what anyone who has time to read my novel can make of this weird stuff....
H is all for refinancing the house to get a better rate and consolidate some stuff....which means resigning for a big investment....that was as of last night, didn't discuss it this am....
Hmmmmmmmmm, ok, now the thought occurs to me, I bet OW is giving him "words" that I've made the financial mess on purpose to hang on to him, and he probably mentioned refinancing to her and she blew a gasket....I mean, what kind of a deal is this after all, when sugar daddy is broke and reupping financial contracts w/wife?
Huh, naughty thinking on my part, but I bet that's what's going on.....
oh, yeah, going back through all the checks and financial statements this week end was pretty re-traumatizing. I can tell exactly when the A started....it was about the 3rd week of May, 2003. H's expenses for "gas" suddenly went from about $20.00/week to about $70/every 3 days.....hmmmmmm, now theres an interesting finanancial note....and that doesnt count the unrecorded checks and stuff I found....I'd just let a lot of it go because I couldnt stand to deal with it....
Guess if worse ever comes to worse I have barrels of ammunition, though.
That would have been enough to keep the w---e in groceries and gas last summer when she wasnt getting child support, wouldnt it? hmmm, the picture grows ever clearer, the hindsight part anyway.
My H is bad about emailing me, even though he knows that I looove it when he contacts me in the morning. I do believe that it honestly slips his mind, rather than him having some diabolical plan to make me unhappy.
Try to stay away from the OW thinking. Concentrate instead on the GREAT weekend that you had!
And look at it this way: There is a good chance that he was distant or distracted this morning because he had had such a great weekend with you, but knew that he had to go back to work and deal with all the OW crapola. I know that, if I were him, I would DREAD Mondays and going back to the awful situation that I had created!
Here is another thing I do: If I am debating emailing H or not (letting my ridiculous thoughts trick me into thinking that he doesn't want to hear from me), I will usually opt to send one, but keep it short and sweet. Something that is kinda noncommittal but a 'contact' nonetheless...like, "How is your day going?" or "Hope your day is good!" and leave it at that. Then the ball is in his court. He almost always sends me back a nice email, too.
thanks Honeya and TC, I'm still riding the fence here, so havent done anything yet.....The reason I wouldnt email him is multi-tiered: I was REAL available all weekend (and we had a great time) and I would like for him to get a taste of missing me just a little; mystery....let him wonder why I havent emailed him; and he's probably email OW....let her get in a good a$$chewing while he avoids me, then I can be the nice one with supper ready and a sexy top when he gets home tonight; he doesnt like it when I don't respond to his emails Reasons I would email him: to say "hi" because I like him and like to do it; he likes it; to build anticipation for possibilities for tonight; to be a contrast to the a$$chewing I'm hoping he's getting from OW....
so there you have it, equal number of equally good reasons for doing it or not doing it. I guess one more reason NOT to email him is it would be a 180 -- I usually do if I don't hear from him...
hmmmmm, since I cant decide what to do, I guess I'll follow the advice of wise db'ers and doing nothing while I cant make up my mind...........
frankly, lots of over the weekend makes me in the mood for more tonight.....hmmmmmmm.....although I need to be concentrating on a "financial game plan" over the lunch hour, and not on
again....we spent until 4:30! and it was great, I have to say...then when we got in bed, I was almost asleep, and H reaches for me and.....said he'd been watching me while we were watching tv and thinking he knew what was under that tshirt and....so we ml again, which means he initiated 3 times in one day. 
....then he said he'd thought all morning about how great it was to ml WITH ME....and then he initiated again....
!